The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第4部分

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left　at　home　with　Effie。　His　mother's　death　was　another　blow　out
of　the　dark。　He　could　not　understand　it；　he　knew　it　was　no　good
his　trying。　One　had　to　submit　to　these　unforeseen　blows　that
e　unawares　and　leave　a　bruise　that　remains　and　hurts　whenever
it　is　touched。　He　began　to　be　afraid　of　all　that　which　was　up
against　him。　He　had　loved　his　mother。

After　this；　Effie　and　he　quarrelled　fiercely。　They　meant　a
very　great　deal　to　each　other；　but　they　were　both　under　a
strange；　unnatural　tension。　He　stayed　out　of　the　house　as　much
as　possible。　He　got　a　special　corner　for　himself　at　the　〃Red
Lion〃　at　Cossethay；　and　became　a　usual　figure　by　the　fire；　a
fresh；　fair　young　fellow　with　heavy　limbs　and　head　held　back；
mostly　silent；　though　alert　and　attentive；　very　hearty　in　his
greeting　of　everybody　he　knew；　shy　of　strangers。　He　teased　all
the　women；　who　liked　him　extremely；　and　he　was　very　attentive　to
the　talk　of　the　men；　very　respectful。

To　drink　made　him　quickly　flush　very　red　in　the　face；　and
brought　out　the　look　of　self…consciousness　and　unsureness；
almost　bewilderment；　in　his　blue　eyes。　When　he　came　home　in　this
state　of　tipsy　confusion　his　sister　hated　him　and　abused　him；
and　he　went　off　his　head；　like　a　mad　bull　with　rage。

He　had　still　another　turn　with　a　light…o'…love。　One
Whitsuntide　he　went　a　jaunt　with　two　other　young　fellows；　on
horseback；　to　Matlock　and　thence　to　Bakewell。　Matlock　was　at
that　time　just　being　a　famous　beauty…spot；　visited　from
Manchester　and　from　the　Staffordshire　towns。　In　the　hotel　where
the　young　men　took　lunch；　were　two　girls；　and　the　parties　struck
up　a　friendship。

The　Miss　who　made　up　to　Tom　Brangwen；　then　twenty…four　years
old；　was　a　handsome；　reckless　girl　neglected　for　an　afternoon　by
the　man　who　had　brought　her　out。　She　saw　Brangwen　and　liked　him；
as　all　women　did；　for　his　warmth　and　his　generous　nature；　and
for　the　innate　delicacy　in　him。　But　she　saw　he　was　one　who　would
have　to　be　brought　to　the　scratch。　However；　she　was　roused　and
unsatisfied　and　made　mischievous；　so　she　dared　anything。　It
would　be　an　easy　interlude；　restoring　her　pride。

She　was　a　handsome　girl　with　a　bosom；　and　dark　hair　and　blue
eyes；　a　girl　full　of　easy　laughter；　flushed　from　the　sun；
inclined　to　wipe　her　laughing　face　in　a　very　natural　and　taking
manner。

Brangwen　was　in　a　state　of　wonder。　He　treated　her　with　his
chaffing　deference；　roused；　but　very　unsure　of　himself；　afraid
to　death　of　being　too　forward；　ashamed　lest　he　might　be　thought
backward；　mad　with　desire　yet　restrained　by　instinctive　regard
for　women　from　making　any　definite　approach；　feeling　all　the
while　that　his　attitude　was　ridiculous；　and　flushing　deep　with
confusion。　She；　however；　became　hard　and　daring　as　he　became
confused；　it　amused　her　to　see　him　e　on。

〃When　must　you　get　back？〃　she　asked。

〃I'm　not　particular；〃　he　said。

There　the　conversation　again　broke　down。

Brangwen's　panions　were　ready　to　go　on。

〃Art　min'；　Tom；〃　they　called；　〃or　art　for　stoppin'？〃

〃Ay；　I'm　min'；〃　he　replied；　rising　reluctantly；　an　angry
sense　of　futility　and　disappointment　spreading　over　him。

He　met　the　full；　almost　taunting　look　of　the　girl；　and　he
trembled　with　unusedness。

〃Shall　you　e　an'　have　a　look　at　my　mare；〃　he　said　to　her；
with　his　hearty　kindliness　that　was　now　shaken　with
trepidation。

〃Oh；　I　should　like　to；〃　she　said；　rising。

And　she　followed　him；　his　rather　sloping　shoulders　and　his
cloth　riding…gaiters；　out　of　the　room。　The　young　men　got　their
own　horses　out　of　the　stable。

〃Can　you　ride？〃　Brangwen　asked　her。

〃I　should　like　to　if　I　could……I　have　never　tried；〃　she
said。

〃e　then；　an'　have　a　try；〃　he　said。

And　he　lifted　her；　he　blushing；　she　laughing；　into　the
saddle。

〃I　s'll　slip　off……it's　not　a　lady's　saddle；〃　she
cried。

〃Hold　yer　tight；〃　he　said；　and　he　led　her　out　of　the　hotel
gate。

The　girl　sat　very　insecurely；　clinging　fast。　He　put　a　hand　on
her　waist；　to　support　her。　And　he　held　her　closely；　he　clasped
her　as　in　an　embrace；　he　was　weak　with　desire　as　he　strode
beside　her。

The　horse　walked　by　the　river。

〃You　want　to　sit　straddle…leg；〃　he　said　to　her。

〃I　know　I　do；〃　she　said。

It　was　the　time　of　very　full　skirts。　She　managed　to　get
astride　the　horse；　quite　decently；　showing　an　intent　concern　for
covering　her　pretty　leg。

〃It's　a　lot's　better　this　road；〃　she　said；　looking　down　at
him。

〃Ay；　it　is；〃　he　said；　feeling　the　marrow　melt　in　his　bones
from　the　look　in　her　eyes。　〃I　dunno　why　they　have　that
side…saddle　business；　twistin'　a　woman　in　two。〃

〃Should　us　leave　you　then……you　seem　to　be　fixed　up
there？〃　called　Brangwen's　panions　from　the　road。

He　went　red　with　anger。

〃Ay……don't　worry；〃　he　called　back。

〃How　long　are　yer　stoppin'？〃　they　asked。

〃Not　after　Christmas；〃　he　said。

And　the　girl　gave　a　tinkling　peal　of　laughter。

〃All　right……by…bye！〃　called　his　friends。

And　they　cantered　off；　leaving　him　very　flushed；　trying　to　be
quite　normal　with　the　girl。　But　presently　he　had　gone　back　to
the　hotel　and　given　his　horse　into　the　charge　of　an　ostler　and
had　gone　off　with　the　girl　into　the　woods；　not　quite　knowing
where　he　was　or　what　he　was　doing。　His　heart　thumped　and　he
thought　it　the　most　glorious　adventure；　and　was　mad　with　desire
for　the　girl。

Afterwards　he　glowed　with　pleasure。　By　Jove；　but　that　was
something　like！　He　＇stayed　the　afternoon　with　the　girl；　and＇
wanted　to　stay　the　night。　She；　however；　told　him　this　was　impossible：
her　own　man　would　be　back　by　dark；　and　she　must　be　with　him。
He；　Brangwen；　must　not　let　on　that　there　had　been　anything
between　them。

She　gave　him　an　intimate　smile；　which　made　him　feel　confused
and　gratified。

He　could　not　tear　himself　away；　though　he　had　promised　not　to
interfere　with　the　girl。　He　stayed　on　at　the　hotel　over　night。
He　saw　the　other　fellow　at　the　evening　meal：　a　small；
middle…aged　man　with　iron…grey　hair　and　a　curious　face；　like　a
monkey's；　but　interesting；　in　its　way　almost　beautiful。　Brangwen
guessed　that　he　was　a　foreigner。　He　was　in　pany　with　another；
an　Englishman；　dry　and　hard。　The　four　sat　at　table；　two　men　and
two　women。　Brangwen　watched　with　all　his　eyes。

He　saw　how　the　foreigner　treated　the　women　with　courteous
contempt；　as　if　they　were　pleasing　animals。　Brangwen's　girl　had
put　on　a　ladylike　manner；　but　her　voice　betrayed　her。　She　wanted
to　win　back　her　man。　When　dessert　came　on；　however；　the　little
foreigner　turned　round　from　his　table　and　calmly　surveyed　the
room；　like　one　unoccupied。　Brangwen　marvelled　over　the　cold；
animal　intelligence　of　the　face。　The　brown　eyes　were　round；
showing　all　the　brown　pupil；　like　a　monkey's；　and　just　calmly
looking；　perceiving　the　other　person　without　referring　to　him　at
all。　They　rested　on　Brangwen。　The　latter　marvelled　at　the　old
face　turned　round　on　him；　looking　at　him　without　considering　it
necessary　to　know　him　at　all。　The　eyebrows　of　the　round；
perceiving；　but　unconcerned　eyes　were　rather　high　up；　with
slight　wrinkles　above　them；　just　as　a　monkey's　had。　It　was　an
old；　ageless　face。

The　man　was　most　amazingly　a　gentleman　all　the　time；　an
aristocrat。　Brangwen　stared　fascinated。　The　girl　was　pushing　her
crumbs　about　on　the　cloth；　uneasily；　flushed　and　angry。

As　Brangwen　sat　motionless　in　the　hall　afterwards；　too　much
moved　and　lost　to　know　what　to　do；　the　little　stranger　came　up
to　him　with　a　beautiful　smile　and　manner；　offering　a　cigarette
and　saying：

〃Will　you　smoke？〃

Brangwen　never　smoked　cigarettes；　yet　he　took　the　one
offered；　fumbling　painfully　with　thick　fingers；　blushing　to　the
roots　of　his　hair。　Then　he　looked　with　his　warm　blue　eyes　at　the
almost　sardonic；　lidded　eyes　of　the　foreigner。　The　latter　sat
down　beside　him；　and　they　began　to　talk；　chiefly　of　horses。

Brangwen　loved　the　other　man　for　his　exquisite　graciousness；
for　his　tact　and　reserve；　and　for　his　ageless；　monkey…like
self…surety。　They　talked　of　horses；　and　of　Derbyshire；　and　of
farming。　The　stranger　warmed　to　the　young　fellow　with　real
warmth；　and　Brangwen　was　excited。　He　was　transported　at　meeting
this　odd；　middle…aged；　dry…skinned　man；　personally。　The　talk　was
pleasant；　but　that　did　not　matter　so　much。　It　was　the　gracious
manner；　the　fine　contact　that　was　all。

They　talked　a　long　while　together；　Brangwen　flushing　like　a
girl　when　the　other　did　not　understand　his　idiom。　Then　they　said
good　night；　and　shook　hands。　Again　the　foreigner　bowed　and
repeated　his　good　night。

〃Good　night；　and　bon　voyage。〃

Then　he　turned　to　the　stairs。

Brangwen　went　up　to　his　room　and　lay　staring　out　at　the　stars
of　the　summer　night；　his　whole　being　in　a　whirl。　What　was　it
all？　There　was　a　life　so　different　from　what　he　knew　it。　What
was　there　outside　his　knowledge；　how　much？　What　was　this　that　he
had　touched？　What　was　he　in　this　new　influence？　What　did
everything　mean？　Where　was　life；　in　that　which　he　knew　or　all
outside　him？

He　fell　asleep；　and　in　the　morning　had　ridden　away　before　any
other　visitors　were　awake。　He　shrank　from　seeing　any　of　them
again；　in　the　morning。

His　mind　was　one　big　excitement。　The　girl　and　the　foreigner：
he　knew　neither　of　their　names。　Yet　they　had　set　fire　to　the
homestead　of　his　nature；　and　he　would　be　burned　out　of　cover。　Of
the　two　experiences；　perhaps　the　meeting　with　the　foreigner　was
the　more　significant。　But　the　girl……he　had　not　settled
about　the　girl。

He　did　not　know。　He　had　to　leave　it　there；　as　it　was。　He
could　not　sum　up　his　experiences。

The　result　of　these　encounters　was；　that　he　dreamed　day　and
night；　absorbedly；　of　a　voluptuous　woman　and　of　the　meeting　with
a　small；　withered　foreigner　of　ancient　breeding。　No　sooner　was
his　mind　free；　no　sooner　had　he　left　his　own　panions；　than　he
began　to　imagine　an　intimacy　with　fine…textured；　subtle…mannered
people　such　as　the　foreigner　at　Matlock；　and　amidst　this　subtle
intimacy　was　always　the　satisfaction　of　a　voluptuous　woman。

He　went　about　absorbed　in　the　interest　and　the　actuality　of
this　dream。　His　eyes　glowed；　he　walked　with　his　head　up；　full　of
the　exquisite　pleasure　of　aristocratic　subtlety　and　grace；
tormented　with　the　desire　for　the　girl。

Then　gradually　the　glow　began　to　fade；　and　the　cold　material
of　his　customary　life　to　show　through。　He　resented　it。　Was　he
cheated　in　his　illusion？　He　balked　the　mean　enclosure　of
reality；　stood　stubbornly　like　a　bull　at　a　gate；　refusing　to
re…enter　the　well…known　round　of　his　own　life。

He　drank　more　than　usual　to　keep　up　the　glow。　But　it　faded
more　and　more　for　all　that。　He　set　his　teeth　at　the　monplace；
to　which　he　would　not　submit。　It　resolved　itself　starkly　before
him；　for　all　that。

He　wanted　to　marry；　to　get　settled　somehow；　to　get　out　of　the
quandary　he　found　himself　in。　But　how？　He　felt　unable　to　move
his　limbs。　He　had　seen　a　little　creature　caught　in　bird…lime；
and　the　sight　was　a　nightmare　to　him。　He　began　to　feel　mad　with
the　rage　of　impotency。

He　wanted　something　to　get　hold　of；　to　pull　himself　out。　But
there　was　nothing。　Steadfastly　he　looked　at　the　young　women；　to
find　a　one　he　could　marry。　But　not　one　of　them　did　he　want。　And
he　knew　that　the　idea　of　a　life　among　such　people　as　the
foreigner　was　ridiculous。

Yet　he　d