首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)-第81部分

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t　a　copy。　It　had　occurred　to　him　that　he　might　have　walked　close　by　the　place　where　the　teenagers　and　the　boy　had　been；　but　he　had　no　actual　memory　of　seeing　Robbie　Weedon。

Gavin　had　had　an　odd　couple　of　weeks。　He　was　missing　Barry　badly。　He　did　not　understand　himself：　when　he　should　have　been　mired　in　misery　that　Mary　had　turned　him　down；　all　he　wanted　was　a　beer　with　the　man　whose　wife　he　had　hoped　to　take　as　his　own　…

（Muttering　aloud　as　he　had　walked　away　from　her　house；　he　had　said　to　himself；　‘That’s　what　you　get　for　trying　to　steal　your　best　friend’s　life；’　and　failed　to　notice　the　slip　of　the　tongue。）

‘Listen；’　he　said；　‘I　was　wondering　whether　you　fancied　a　drink　later？’

Kay　almost　laughed。

‘Turn　you　down；　did　she？’

She　handed　Gaia　the　phone　to　hang　up。　They　hurried　out　of　the　house　and　half　jogged　to　the　end　of　the　street　and　up　through　the　Square。　For　ten　strides；　as　they　passed　the　Black　Canon；　Gaia　held　her　mother’s　hand。

They　arrived　as　the　hearses　appeared　at　the　top　of　the　road；　and　hurried　into　the　graveyard　while　the　pall…bearers　were　shuffling　out　onto　the　pavement。

（‘Get　away　from　the　window；’　Colin　Wall　manded　his　son。

But　Fats；　who　had　to　live　henceforth　with　the　knowledge　of　his　own　cowardice；　moved　forward；　trying　to　prove　that　he　could；　at　least；　take　this　…

The　coffins　glided　past　in　the　big　black…windowed　cars：　the　first　was　bright　pink；　and　the　sight　robbed　him　of　breath；　and　the　second　was　tiny　and　shiny　white　…

Colin　placed　himself　in　front　of　Fats　too　late　to　protect　him；　but　he　drew　the　curtains　anyway。　In　the　gloomy；　familiar　sitting　room；　where　Fats　had　confessed　to　his　parents　that　he　had　exposed　his　father’s　illness　to　the　world；　where　he　had　confessed　to　as　much　as　he　could　think　of；　in　the　hope　that　they　would　conclude　him　to　be　mad　and　ill；　where　he　had　tried　to　heap　upon　himself　so　much　blame　that　they　would　beat　him　or　stab　him　or　do　to　him　all　those　things　that　he　knew　he　deserved；　Colin　put　a　hand　gently　on　his　son’s　back　and　steered　him　away；　towards　the　sunlit　kitchen。）

Outside　St　Michael　and　All　Saints；　the　pall…bearers　were　readying　themselves　to　take　the　coffins　up　the　church　path。　Dane　Tully　was　among　them；　with　his　earring　and　a　self…inked　tattoo　of　a　spider’s　web　on　his　neck；　in　a　heavy　black　overcoat。

The　Jawandas　waited　with　the　Bawdens　in　the　shade　of　the　yew　tree。　Andrew　Price　hovered　near　them；　and　Tessa　Wall　stood　at　some　distance；　pale　and　stony…faced。　The　other　mourners　formed　a　separate　phalanx　around　the　church　doors。　Some　had　a　pinched　and　defiant　air；　others　looked　resigned　and　defeated；　a　few　wore　cheap　black　clothes；　but　most　were　in　jeans　or　tracksuits；　and　one　girl　was　sporting　a　cut…off　T…shirt　and　a　belly…ring　that　caught　the　sun　when　she　moved。　The　coffins　moved　up　the　path；　gleaming　in　the　bright　light。

It　was　Sukhvinder　Jawanda　who　had　chosen　the　bright　pink　coffin　for　Krystal；　as　she　was　sure　she　would　have　wanted。　It　was　Sukhvinder　who　had　done　nearly　everything；　organizing；　choosing　and　persuading。　Parminder　kept　looking　sideways　at　her　daughter；　and　finding　excuses　to　touch　her：　brushing　her　hair　out　of　her　eyes；　smoothing　her　collar。

Just　as　Robbie　had　e　out　of　the　river　purified　and　regretted　by　Pagford；　so　Sukhvinder　Jawanda；　who　had　risked　her　life　to　try　and　save　the　boy；　had　emerged　a　heroine。　From　the　article　about　her　in　the　Yarvil　and　District　Gazette　to　Maureen　Lowe’s　loud　proclamations　that　she　was　remending　the　girl　for　a　special　police　award　to　the　speech　her　headmistress　made　about　her　from　the　lectern　in　assembly；　Sukhvinder　knew；　for　the　first　time；　what　it　was　to　eclipse　her　brother　and　sister。

She　had　hated　every　minute　of　it。　At　night；　she　felt　again　the　dead　boy’s　weight　in　her　arms；　dragging　her　towards　the　deep；　she　remembered　the　temptation　to　let　go　and　save　herself；　and　asked　herself　how　long　she　would　have　resisted　it。　The　deep　scar　on　her　leg　itched　and　ached；　whether　moving　or　stationary。　The　news　of　Krystal　Weedon’s　death　had　had　such　an　alarming　effect　on　her　that　her　parents　had　arranged　a　counsellor；　but　she　had　not　cut　herself　once　since　being　pulled　from　the　river；　her　near　drowning　seemed　to　have　purged　her　of　the　need。

Then；　on　her　first　day　back　at　school；　with　Fats　Wall　still　absent；　and　admiring　stares　following　her　down　the　corridors；　she　had　heard　the　rumour　that　Terri　Weedon　had　no　money　to　bury　her　children；　that　there　would　be　no　stone　marker；　and　the　cheapest　coffins。

‘That’s　very　sad；　Jolly；’　her　mother　had　said　that　evening；　as　the　family　sat　eating　dinner　together　under　the　wall　of　family　photographs。　Her　tone　was　as　gentle　as　the　policewoman’s　had　been；　there　was　no　snap　in　Parminder’s　voice　any　more　when　she　spoke　to　her　daughter。

‘I　want　to　try　and　get　people　to　give　money；’　said　Sukhvinder。

Parminder　and　Vikram　glanced　at　each　other　across　the　kitchen　table。　Both　were　instinctively　opposed　to　the　idea　of　asking　people　in　Pagford　to　donate　to　such　a　cause；　but　neither　of　them　said　so。　They　were　a　little　afraid；　now　that　they　had　seen　her　forearms；　of　upsetting　Sukhvinder；　and　the　shadow　of　the　as…yet…unknown　counsellor　seemed　to　be　hovering　over　all　their　interactions。

‘And；’　Sukhvinder　went　on；　with　a　feverish　energy　like　Parminder’s　own；　‘I　think　the　funeral　service　should　be　here；　at　St　Michael’s。　Like　Mr　Fairbrother’s。　Krys　used　to　go　to　all　the　services　here　when　we　were　at　St　Thomas’s。　I　bet　she　was　never　in　another　church　in　her　life。’

The　light　of　God　shines　from　every　soul；　thought　Parminder；　and　to　Vikram’s　surprise　she　said　abruptly；　‘Yes；　all　right。　We’ll　have　to　see　what　we　can　do。’

The　bulk　of　the　expense　had　been　met　by　the　Jawandas　and　the　Walls；　but　Kay　Bawden；　Samantha　Mollison　and　a　couple　of　the　mothers　of　girls　on　the　rowing　team　had　donated　money　too。　Sukhvinder　then　insisted　on　going　into　the　Fields　in　person；　to　explain　to　Terri　what　they　had　done；　and　why；　all　about　the　rowing　team；　and　why　Krystal　and　Robbie　should　have　a　service　at　St　Michael’s。

Parminder　had　been　exceptionally　worried　about　Sukhvinder　going　into　the　Fields；　let　alone　that　filthy　house；　by　herself；　but　Sukhvinder　had　known　that　it　would　be　all　right。　The　Weedons　and　the　Tullys　knew　that　she　had　tried　to　save　Robbie’s　life。　Dane　Tully　had　stopped　grunting　at　her　in　English；　and　had　stopped　his　mates　from　doing　it　too。

Terri　agreed　to　everything　that　Sukhvinder　suggested。　She　was　emaciated；　dirty；　monosyllabic　and　entirely　passive。　Sukhvinder　had　been　frightened　of　her；　with　her　pockmarked　arms　and　her　missing　teeth；　it　was　like　talking　to　a　corpse。

Inside　the　church；　the　mourners　divided　cleanly；　with　the　people　from　the　Fields　taking　the　left…hand　pews；　and　those　from　Pagford；　the　right。　Shane　and　Cheryl　Tully　marched　Terri　along　between　them　to　the　front　row；　Terri；　in　a　coat　two　sizes　too　large；　seemed　scarcely　aware　of　where　she　was。

The　coffins　lay　side　by　side　on　biers　at　the　front　of　the　church。　A　bronze　chrysanthemum　oar　lay　on　Krystal’s；　and　a　white　chrysanthemum　teddy　bear　on　Robbie’s。

Kay　Bawden　remembered　Robbie’s　bedroom；　with　its　few　grimy　plastic　toys；　and　her　fingers　trembled　on　the　order　of　service。　Naturally；　there　was　to　be　an　inquiry　at　work；　because　the　local　paper　was　clamouring　for　one；　and　had　written　a　front…page　piece　suggesting　that　the　small　boy　had　been　left　in　the　care　of　a　pair　of　junkies　and　that　his　death　could　have　been　avoided；　if　only　he　had　been　removed　to　safety　by　negligent　social　workers。　Mattie　had　been　signed　off　with　stress　again；　and　Kay’s　handling　of　the　case　review　was　being　assessed。　Kay　wondered　what　effect　it　would　have　on　her　chances　of　getting　another　job　in　London；　when　every　local　authority　was　cutting　numbers　of　social　workers；　and　how　Gaia　would　react　if　they　had　to　stay　in　Pagford　…　she　had　not　dared　discuss　it　with　her　yet。

Andrew　glanced　sideways　at　Gaia　and　they　exchanged　small　smiles。　Up　in　Hilltop　House；　Ruth　was　already　sorting　things　for　the　move。　Andrew　could　tell　that　his　mother　hoped；　in　her　perennially　optimistic　way；　that　by　sacrificing　their　house　and　the　beauty　of　the　hills；　they　would　be　rewarded　with　a　rebirth。　Wedded　for　ever　to　an　idea　of　Simon　that　took　no　account　of　his　rages　or　his　crookedness；　she　was　hoping　that　these　would　be　left　behind；　like　boxes　forgotten　in　the　move　…　But　at　least；　Andrew　thought；　he　would　be　one　step　nearer　London　when　they　went；　and　he　had　Gaia’s　assurance　that　she　had　been　too　drunk　to　know　what　she　was　doing　with　Fats；　and　perhaps　she　might　invite　him　and　Sukhvinder　back　to　her　house　for　coffee　after　the　funeral　was　over　…

Gaia；　who　had　never　been　inside　St　Michael’s　before；　was　half　listening　to　the　vicar’s　sing…song　delivery；　letting　her　eyes　travel　over　the　high　starry　ceiling　and　the　jewel…coloured　windows。　There　was　a　prettiness　about　Pagford　that；　now　she　knew　that　she　was　leaving；　she　thought　she　might　quite　miss　…

Tessa　Wall　had　chosen　to　sit　behind　everyone　else；　on　her　own。　This　brought　her　directly　under　the　calm　gaze　of　St　Michael；　whose　foot　rested　eternally　on　that　writhing　devil　with　its　horns　and　tail。　Tessa　had　been　in　tears　ever　since　her　first　glimpse　of　the　two　glossy　coffins　and；　as　much　as　she　tried　to　stifle　them；　her　soft　gurglings　were　still　audible　to　those　near　her。　She　had　half　expected　somebody　on　the　Weedon　side　of　the　church　to　recognize　her　as　Fats’　mother　and　attack　her；　but　nothing　had　happened。

（Her　family　life　had　turned　inside　out。　Colin　was　furious　with　her。

‘You　told　him　what？’

‘He　wanted　a　taste　of　real　life；’　she　had　sobbed；　‘he　wanted　to　see　the　seamy　underside　–　don’t　you　understand　what　all　that　slumming　it　was　about？’

‘So　you　told　him　that　he　might　be　the　result　of　incest；　and　that　I　tried　to　kill　myself　because　he　came　into　the　family？’

Years　of　trying　to　reconcile　them；　and　it　had　taken　a　dead　child；　and　Colin’s　profound　understanding　of　guilt；　to　do　it。　She　had　heard　the　two　of　them　talking　in　Fats’　attic　room　the　previous　evening；　and　paused　to　eavesdrop　at　the　foot　of　the　stairs。

‘…　you　can　put　that　–　that　thing　that　Mum　suggested　out　of　your　head　pletely；’　Colin　was　saying　gruffly。　‘You’ve　got　no　physical　or　mental　abnormalities；　have　you？　Well　then　…　don’t　worry　about　it　any　more。　But　your　counsellor　will　help　you　with　all　of　this　…’）

Tessa　gurgled　and　snorted　into　her　sodden　tissue；　and　thought　how　little　she　had　done　for　Krystal；　dead　on　the　bathroom　floor　…　it　would　have　been　a　relief　if　St　Michael　had　stepped　down　from　his　glowing　window　and　enacted　judgement　on　them　all；　decreeing　exactly　how　much　fault　was　hers；　for　the　deaths；　for　the　broken　lives；　for　the　mess　…　A　fidgeting　young　Tully　boy　on　the　other　side　of　the　aisle　hopped　out　of　his　pew；　and　a　tattooed　woman　reached　out　a　powerful　arm；　grabbed　him　and　pulled　him　back。　Tessa’s　sobs　were　punctuated　by　a　little　gasp　of　surprise。　She　was　sure　that　she　had　recognized　her　own　lost　watch　on　the　thick　wrist。

Sukhvinder；　who　was　listening　to　Tessa’s　sobs；　felt　sorry　for　her；　but　did　not　dare　turn　around。　Parminder　was　furious　with　Tessa。　There　had　been　no　way　for　Sukhvinder　to　explain　the　scars　on　her　arms　without　mentioning　F