首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)-第13部分

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board　for　five　days　by　his　psychotic　stepfather。　That　one　had　made　the　national　news。　The　most　immediate　danger　to　Robbie　Weedon’s　safety　had　been　the　pile　of　heavy　boxes　in　his　mother’s　sitting　room；　which　he　had　attempted　to　climb　when　he　realized　that　it　attracted　Kay’s　full　attention。　Kay　had　carefully　restacked　them　into　two　lower　piles　before　leaving。　Terri　had　not　liked　her　touching　the　boxes；　nor　had　she　liked　Kay　telling　her　that　she　ought　to　take　off　Robbie’s　sodden　nappy。　Terri　had　been　roused；　in　fact；　to　foul…mouthed；　though　still　slightly　hazy；　fury；　and　had　told　Kay　to　fuck　off　and　stay　away。

Kay’s　mobile　rang　and　she　picked　it　up。　It　was　Terri’s　key　drug　worker。

‘I’ve　been　trying　to　get　you　for　days；’　said　the　woman　crossly。　It　took　several　minutes　for　Kay　to　explain　that　she　was　not　Mattie；　but　this　did　not　much　reduce　the　woman’s　antagonism。

‘Yeah；　we’re　still　seeing　her；　but　she　tested　positive　last　week。　If　she　uses　again；　she’s　out。　We’ve　got　twenty　people　right　now　who　could　take　her　place　on　the　programme　and　maybe　get　some　benefit　from　it。　This　is　the　third　time　she’s　been　through。’

Kay　did　not　say　she　knew　that　Terri　had　used　that　morning。

‘Have　either　of　you　got　any　paracetamol？’　Kay　asked　Alex　and　Una；　once　the　drug　worker　had　given　her　full　details　of　Terri’s　attendance　and　lack　of　progress　at　the　clinic；　and　rung　off。

Kay　took　her　painkillers　with　tepid　tea；　lacking　the　energy　to　get　up　and　go　to　the　water　cooler　in　the　corridor。　The　office　was　stuffy；　the　radiator　cranked　up　high。　As　the　daylight　faded　from　the　sky　outside；　the　strip…lighting　over　her　desk　intensified：　it　turned　her　multitude　of　papers　a　bright　yellow…white；　buzzing　black　words　marched　in　endless　lines。

‘They’re　going　to　close　down　Bellchapel　Clinic；　you　watch；’　said　Una；　who　was　working　at　her　PC　with　her　back　to　Kay。　‘Got　to　make　cuts。　Council　funds　one　of　the　drug　workers。　Pagford　Parish　owns　the　building。　I　heard　they’re　planning　to　tart　it　up　and　try　and　rent　to　a　better…paying　client。　They’ve　had　it　in　for　that　clinic　for　years。’

Kay’s　temple　throbbed。　The　name　of　her　new　hometown　made　her　feel　sad。　Without　pausing　to　think；　she　did　the　thing　that　she　had　vowed　not　to　do　after　he　had　failed　to　call　the　previous　evening：　she　picked　up　her　mobile　and　keyed　in　Gavin’s　office　number。

‘Edward　Collins　and　Co；’　said　a　woman’s　voice；　after　the　third　ring。　They　answered　your　calls　immediately　out　in　the　private　sector；　when　money　might　depend　on　it。

‘Could　I　speak　to　Gavin　Hughes；　please？’　said　Kay；　staring　down　at　Terri’s　file。

‘Who’s　speaking；　please？’

‘Kay　Bawden；’　said　Kay。

She　did　not　look　up；　she　did　not　want　to　catch　either　Alex’s　or　Una’s　eyes。　The　pause　seemed　interminable。

（They　had　met　in　London　at　Gavin’s　brother’s　birthday　party。　Kay　had　not　known　anyone　there；　except　for　the　friend　who　had　dragged　her　along　for　support。　Gavin　had　just　split　up　with　Lisa；　he　had　been　a　little　drunk；　but　had　seemed　decent；　reliable　and　conventional；　not　at　all　the　kind　of　man　that　Kay　usually　went　for。　He　had　poured　out　the　story　of　his　broken　relationship；　and　then　gone　home　with　her　to　the　flat　in　Hackney。　He　had　been　keen　while　the　affair　remained　long…distance；　visiting　at　weekends　and　telephoning　her　regularly；　but　when；　by　a　miracle；　she　had　got　the　job　in　Yarvil；　for　less　money；　and　put　her　flat　in　Hackney　on　the　market；　he　had　seemed　to　take　fright　…　）

‘His　line’s　still　busy；　would　you　like　to　hold？’

‘Yes；　please；’　said　Kay　miserably。

（If　she　and　Gavin　did　not　work　out　…　but　they　had　to　work　out。　She　had　moved　for　him；　changed　jobs　for　him；　uprooted　her　daughter　for　him。　He　would　never　have　let　that　happen；　surely；　unless　his　intentions　were　serious？　He　must　have　thought　through　the　consequences　if　they　split　up：　how　awful　and　awkward　it　would　be；　running　across　each　other　constantly　in　a　tiny　town　like　Pagford？）

‘Putting　you　through；’　said　the　secretary；　and　Kay’s　hopes　soared。

‘Hi；’　said　Gavin。　‘How　are　you？’

‘Fine；’　lied　Kay；　because　Alex　and　Una　were　listening。　‘Are　you　having　a　good　day？’

‘Busy；’　said　Gavin。　‘You？’

‘Yes。’　
。电子书
She　waited；　the　phoned　pressed　tightly　against　her　ear；　pretending　that　he　was　speaking　to　her；　listening　to　the　silence。

‘I　wondered　whether　you　wanted　to　meet　up　tonight；’　she　asked　finally；　feeling　sick。

‘Er　…　I　don’t　think　I　can；’　he　said。

How　can　you　not　know？　What　have　you　got　on？

‘I　might　have　to　do　something　…　it’s　Mary。　Barry’s　wife。　She　wants　me　to　be　a　pall…bearer。　So　I　might　have　to　…　I　think　I’ve　got　to　find　out　what　that　involves　and　everything。’

Sometimes；　if　she　simply　remained　quiet；　and　let　the　inadequacy　of　his　excuses　reverberate　on　the　air；　he　became　ashamed　and　backtracked。

‘I　don’t　suppose　that’ll　take　all　evening；　though；’　he　said。　‘We　could　meet　up　later；　if　you　wanted。’

‘All　right；　then。　Do　you　want　to　e　over　to　mine；　as　it’s　a　school　night？’

‘Er　…　yeah；　OK。’

‘What　time？’　she　asked；　wanting　him　to　make　one　decision。

‘I　dunno　…　nine…ish？’

After　he　had　rung　off；　Kay　kept　the　phone　pressed　tightly　to　her　ear　for　a　few　moments；　then　said；　for　the　benefit　of　Alex　and　Una；　‘I　do；　too。　See　you　later；　babe。’

V
As　guidance　teacher；　Tessa’s　hours　varied　more　than　her　husband’s。　She　usually　waited　until　the　end　of　the　school　day　to　take　their　son　home　in　her　Nissan；　leaving　Colin　（whom　Tessa　–　although　she　knew　what　the　rest　of　the　world　called　him；　including　nearly　all　the　parents　who　had　caught　the　habit　from　their　children　–　never　addressed　as　Cubby）　to　follow　them；　an　hour　or　two　later；　in　his　Toyota。　Today；　though；　Colin　met　Tessa　in　the　car　park　at　twenty…past　four；　while　the　schoolchildren　were　still　swarming　out　of　the　front　gates　into　parental　cars；　or　onto　their　free　buses。

The　sky　was　a　cold　iron…grey；　like　the　underside　of　a　shield。　A　sharp　breeze　lifted　the　hems　of　skirts　and　rattled　the　leaves　on　the　immature　trees；　a　spiteful；　chill　wind　that　sought　out　your　weakest　places；　the　nape　of　your　neck　and　your　knees；　and　which　denied　you　the　fort　of　dreaming；　of　retreating　a　little　from　reality。　Even　after　she　had　closed　the　car　door　on　it；　Tessa　felt　ruffled　and　put　out；　as　she　would　have　been　by　somebody　crashing　into　her　without　apology。

Beside　her　in　the　passenger　seat；　his　knees　absurdly　high　in　the　cramped　confines　of　her　car；　Colin　told　Tessa　what　the　puting　teacher　had　e　to　his　office　to　tell　him；　twenty　minutes　previously。

‘…　not　there。　Didn’t　turn　up　for　the　whole　double　period。　Said　he　thought　he’d　better　e　straight　and　tell　me。　So　that’ll　be　all　over　the　staff　room；　tomorrow。　Exactly　what　he　wants；’　said　Colin　furiously；　and　Tessa　knew　that　they　were　not　talking　about　the　puting　teacher　any　more。　‘He’s　just　sticking　two　fingers　up　at　me；　as　usual。’

Her　husband　was　pale　with　exhaustion；　with　shadows　beneath　his　reddened　eyes；　and　his　hands　were　twitching　slightly　on　the　handle　of　his　briefcase。　Fine　hands；　with　big　knuckles　and　long　slender　fingers；　they　were　not　altogether　dissimilar　from　their　son’s。　Tessa　had　pointed　this　out　to　her　husband　and　son　recently；　neither　had　evinced　the　smallest　pleasure　at　the　thought　that　there　was　some　faint　physical　resemblance　between　them。

‘I　don’t　think　he’s—’　began　Tessa；　but　Colin　was　talking　again。

‘—So；　he’ll　get　detention　like　everyone　else　and　I’ll　damn　well　punish　him　at　home　too。　We’ll　see　how　he　likes　that；　shall　we？　We’ll　see　whether　that’s　a　laughing　matter。　We　can　start　by　grounding　him　for　a　week；　we’ll　see　how　funny　that　is。’
。电子书
Biting　back　her　response；　Tessa　scanned　the　sea　of　black…clad　students；　walking　with　heads　down；　shivering；　drawing　their　thin　coats　close；　their　hair　blown　into　their　mouths。　A　chubby…cheeked　and　slightly　bewildered…looking　first　year　was　looking　all　around　for　a　lift　that　had　not　arrived。　The　crowd　parted　and　there　was　Fats；　loping　along　with　Arf　Price　as　usual；　the　wind　blowing　his　hair　off　his　gaunt　face。　Sometimes；　at　certain　angles；　in　certain　lights；　it　was　easy　to　see　what　Fats　would　look　like　as　an　old　man。　For　an　instant；　from　the　depths　of　her　tiredness；　he　seemed　a　plete　stranger；　and　Tessa　thought　how　extraordinary　it　was　that　he　was　turning　away　to　walk　towards　her　car；　and　that　she　would　have　to　go　back　out　into　that　horrible　hyper…real　breeze　to　let　him　in。　But　when　he　reached　them；　and　gave　her　his　small　grimace　of　a　smile；　he　reconstituted　himself　immediately　into　the　boy　she　loved　in　spite　of　it　all；　and　she　got　out　again；　and　stood　stoically　in　the　knife…sharp　wind　while　he　folded　himself　into　the　car　with　his　father；　who　had　not　offered　to　move。

They　pulled　out　of　the　car　park；　ahead　of　the　free　buses；　and　set　off　through　Yarvil；　past　the　ugly；　broken…down　houses　of　the　Fields；　towards　the　bypass　that　would　speed　them　back　to　Pagford。　Tessa　watched　Fats　in　the　rear…view　mirror。　He　was　slumped　in　the　back；　gazing　out　of　the　window；　as　though　his　parents　were　two　people　who　had　picked　him　up　hitchhiking；　connected　to　him　merely　by　chance　and　proximity。

Colin　waited　until　they　reached　the　bypass；　then　he　asked；　‘Where　were　you　when　you　should　have　been　in　puting　this　afternoon？’

Tessa　glanced　irresistibly　into　the　mirror　again。　She　saw　her　son　yawn。　Sometimes；　even　though　she　denied　it　endlessly　to　Colin；　Tessa　wondered　whether　Fats　really　was　waging　a　dirty；　personal　war　on　his　father　with　the　whole　school　as　audience。　She　knew　things　about　her　son　she　would　not　have　known　if　she　had　not　worked　in　guidance；　students　told　her　things；　sometimes　innocently；　sometimes　slyly。

Miss；　do　you　mind　Fats　smoking？　D’you　let　him　do　it　at　home？

She　locked　away　this　small　repository　of　illicit　booty；　obtained　unintentionally；　and　brought　it　to　neither　her　husband’s　nor　her　son’s　attention；　even　though　it　dragged　at　her；　weighed　on　her。

‘Went　for　a　walk；’　Fats　said　calmly。　‘Thought　I’d　stretch　the　old　legs。’

Colin　twisted　in　his　seat　to　look　at　Fats；　straining　against　his　seat　belt　as　he　shouted；　his　gestures　further　restricted　and　hampered　by　his　overcoat　and　briefcase。　When　he　lost　control；　Colin’s　voice　rose　higher　and　higher；　so　that　he　was　shouting　almost　in　falsetto。　Through　it　all；　Fats　sat　in　silence；　an　insolent　half…smile　curving　his　thin　mouth；　until　his　father　was　screaming　insults　at　him；　insults　that　were　blunted　by　Colin’s　innate　dislike　of　swearing；　his　self…consciousness　when　he　did　it。

‘You　cocky；　self…centred　little　…　little　shit；’　he　screamed；　and　Tessa；　whose　eyes　were　so　full　of　tears　that　she　could　barely　see　the　road；　was　sure　that　Fats　would　be　duplicating　Colin’s　timid；　falsetto　swearing　for　the　benefit　of　Andrew　Price　tomorrow　morning。

Fats　does　a　great　imitation　of　Cubby’s　walk；　miss；　have　you　seen　it？

‘How　dare　you　talk　to　me　like　that？　How　dare　you　skip　classes？’

Colin　screamed　and　raged；　and　Tessa　had　to　blink　the　tears　out　of　her　eyes　as　she　took　the　turning　to　Pagford　and　drove　through　the　Square；　past　Mollison　and　Lowe；　the　war　memorial　and　the　Black　Canon；　she　turned　left　at　St　Michael　and　All　Saints　into　Church　Row；　and；　at　last；　into　the　driveway　of　their　house；　b