new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第30部分

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The　call　of　a　jaybird　made　me　leap　back　and　fall　into　a　thick　stand　of　young　
spruce；　scraping　up　my　arms　
and　tangling　my　hair　with　sap。　The　sudden　rush　of　a　squirrel　up　a　hemlock　made　
me　scream　so　loud　it　
hurt　my　own　ears。　
At　last　there　was　a　break　in　the　trees　ahead。　I　came　out　onto　the　empty　road　a　
mile　or　so　south　of　where　
I'd　left　the　truck。　Exhausted　as　I　was；　I　jogged　up　the　lane　until　I　found　it。　
By　the　time　I　pulled　myself　into　
the　cab；　I　was　sobbing　again。　I　fiercely　shoved　down　both　stiff　locks　before　I　
dug　my　keys　out　of　my　
pocket。　The　roar　of　the　engine　was　forting　and　sane。　It　helped　me　control　
the　tears　as　I　sped　as　fast　
as　my　truck　would　allow　toward　the　main　highway。　
I　was　calmer；　but　still　a　mess　when　I　got　home。　Charlie's　cruiser　was　in　the　
driveway—I　hadn't　realized　
how　late　it　was。　The　sky　was　already　dusky。　
〃Bella？〃　Charlie　asked　when　I　slammed　the　front　door　behind　me　and　hastily　
turned　the　locks。　
〃Yeah；　it's　me。〃　My　voice　was　unsteady。　
〃Where　have　you　been？〃　he　thundered；　appearing　through　the　kitchen　doorway　
with　an　ominous　
expression。　
I　hesitated。　He'd　probably　called　the　Stanleys。　I'd　better　stick　to　the　truth。　
〃I　was　hiking；〃　I　admitted。　
His　eyes　were　tight。　〃What　happened　to　going　to　Jessica's？〃　
〃I　didn't　feel　like　Calculus　today。〃　
Charlie　folded　his　arms　across　his　chest。　〃I　thought　I　asked　you　to　stay　out　
of　the　forest。〃　
〃Yeah；　I　know。　Don't　worry；　I　won't　do　it　again。〃　I　shuddered。　
Charlie　seemed　to　really　look　at　me　for　the　first　time。　I　remembered　that　I　
had　spent　some　time　on　the　
forest　floor　today；　I　must　be　a　mess。　
〃What　happened？〃　Charlie　demanded。　
Again；　I　decided　that　the　truth；　or　part　of　it　anyway；　was　the　best　option。　I　
was　too　shaken　to　pretend　
that　I'd　spent　an　uneventful　day　with　the　flora　and　fauna。　
〃I　saw　the　bear。〃　I　tried　to　say　it　calmly；　but　my　voice　was　high　and　shaky。　
〃It's　not　a　bear；　though—it's　
some　kind　of　wolf。　And　there　are　five　of　them。　A　big　black　one；　and　gray；　and　
reddish…brown〃　
Charlie's　eyes　grew　round　with　horror。　He　strode　quickly　to　me　and　grabbed　the　
tops　of　my　arms。　
〃Are　you　okay？〃　
My　head　bobbed　in　a　weak　nod。　
〃Tell　me　what　happened。〃　
〃They　didn't　pay　any　attention　to　me。　But　aftet　they　were　gone；　I　ran　away　and　
I　fell　down　a　lot。〃　
He　let　go　of　my　shoulders　and　wrapped　his　arms　around　me。　For　a　long　moment；　
he　didn't　say　anything。　
〃Wolves；〃　he　murmured。　
〃What？〃　
〃The　rangers　said　the　tracks　were　wrong　for　a　bear—but　wolves　just　don't　get　
that　big〃　
〃These　were　huge。〃　
〃How　many　did　you　say　you　saw？〃　
〃Five。〃　
Charlie　shook　his　head；　frowning　with　anxiety；　He　finally　spoke　in　a　tone　that　
allowed　no　argument。　〃No　
morehiking。〃　
〃No　problem；〃　I　promised　fervently。　
Charlie　called　the　station　to　report　what　I'd　seen。　I　fudged　a　little　bit　
about　where　exactly　I'd　seen　the　
wolves—claiming　I'd　been　on　the　trail　that　led　to　the　north。　I　didn't　want　my　
dad　to　know　how　deep　I'd　
gone　into　the　forest　against　his　wishes；　and；　more　importantly；　I　didn't　want　
anyone　wandering　near　where　
Laurent　might　be　searching　for　me。　The　thought　of　it　made　me　feel　sick。　
〃Are　you　hungry？〃　he　asked　me　when　he　hung　up　the　phone。　
I　shook　my　head；　though　I　must　have　been　starving。　I　hadn't　eaten　all　day。　
〃Just　tired；〃　I　told　him。　I　turned　for　the　stairs。　
〃Hey；〃　Charlie　said；　his　voice　suddenly　suspicious　again。　〃Didn't　you　say　
Jacob　was　gone　for　the　day？〃　
〃That's　what　Billy　said；〃　I　told　him；　confused　by　his　question。　
He　studied　my　expression　for　a　minute；　and　seemed　satisfied　with　what　he　saw　
there。　
〃Huh。〃　
〃Why？〃　I　demanded。　It　sounded　like　he　was　implying　that　I'd　been　lying　to　him　
this　morning。　About　
something　besides　studying　with　Jessica。　
〃Well；　it's　just　that　when　I　went　to　pick　up　Harry；　I　saw　Jacob　out　in　front　
of　the　store　down　there　with　
some　of　his　friends。　I　waved　hi；　but　he　well；　I　guess　I　don't　know　if　he　saw　
me。　I　think　maybe　he　was　
arguing　with　his　friends。　He　looked　strange；　like　he　was　upset　about　
something。　And　different。　It's　like　
you　can　watch　that　kid　growing！　He　gets　bigger　every　time　I　see　him。〃　
〃Billy　said　Jake　and　his　friends　were　going　up　to　Port　Angeles　to　see　some　
movies。　They　were　probably　
just　waiting　for　someone　to　meet　them。〃　
〃Oh。〃　Charlie　nodded　and　headed　for　the　kitchen。　
I　stood　in　the　hall；　thinking　about　Jacob　arguing　with　his　friends。　I　wondered　
if　he　had　confronted　Embry　
about　the　situation　with　Sam。　Maybe　that　was　the　reason　he'd　ditched　me　today
—if　it　meant　he　could　
sort　things　out　with　Embry；　I　was　glad　he　had。　
I　paused　to　check　the　locks　again　before　I　went　to　my　room。　It　was　a　silly　
thing　to　do。　What　difference　
would　a　lock　make　to　any　of　the　monsters　I'd　seen　this　afternoon？　I　assumed　
the　handle　alone　would　
stymie　the　wolves；　not　having　opposable　thumbs。　And　if　Laurent　came　here　
Or　Victoria。　
I　lay　down　on　my　bed；　but　I　was　shaking　too　hard　to　hope　for　sleep。　I　curled　
into　a　cramped　ball　under　
my　quilt；　and　faced　the　horrifying　facts。　
There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　There　were　no　precautions　I　could　take。　There　
was　no　place　I　could　hide。　
There　was　no　one　who　could　help　me。　
I　realized；　with　a　nauseous　roll　of　my　stomach；　that　the　situation　was　worse　
than　even　that。　Because　all　
those　facts　applied　to　Charlie；　too。　My　father；　sleeping　one　room　away　from　
me；　was　just　a　hairsbreadth　
off　the　heart　of　the　target　that　was　centered　on　me。　My　scent　would　lead　them　
here；　whether　I　was　here　
or　not。　
The　tremors　rocked　me　until　my　teeth　chattered。　
To　calm　myself；　I　fantasized　the　impossible：　I　imagined　the　big　wolves　
catching　up　to　Laurent　in　the　
woods　and　massacring　the　indestructible　immortal　the　way　they　would　any　normal　
person。　Despite　the　
absurdity　of　such　a　vision；　the　idea　forted　me。　If　the　wolves　got　him；　then　
he　couldn't　tell　Victoria　I　
was　here　all　alone。　If　he　didn't　return；　maybe　she'd　think　the　Cullens　were　
still　protecting　me。　If　only　the　
wolves　could　win　such　a　fight　
My　good　vampires　were　never　ing　back；　how　soothing　it　was　to　imagine　that　
the　other　kind　could　
also　disappear。　
I　squeezed　my　eyes　tight　together　and　waited　for　unconsciousness—almost　eager　
for　my　nightmare　to　
start。　Better　that　than　the　pale；　beautiful　face　that　smiled　at　me　now　from　
behind　my　lids。　
In　my　imagination；　Victoria's　eyes　were　black　with　thirst；　bright　with　
anticipation；　and　her　lips　curled　back　
from　her　gleaming　teeth　in　pleasure。　Her　red　hair　was　brilliant　as　fire；　it　
blew　chaotically　around　her　wild　
face。　
Laurent's　words　repeated　in　my　head。　If　you　knew　what　she　had　planned　for　you　
　
I　pressed　my　fist　against　my　mouth　to　keep　from　screaming。　
　11。　CULT
EACH　TIME　THAT　I　OPENED　MY　EYES　TO　THE　MORNING　light　and　realized　I'd　lived　
through　
another　night　was　a　surprise　to　me。　After　the　surprise　wore　off；　my　heart　
would　start　to　race　and　my　
palms　would　sweat；　I　couldn't　really　breathe　again　until　I'd　gotten　up　and　
ascertained　that　Charlie　had　
survived　as　well。　
I　could　tell　he　was　worried—watching　me　jump　at　any　loud　sound；　or　my　face　
suddenly　go　white　for　no　
reason　that　he　could　see。　From　the　questions　he　asked　now　and　then；　he　seemed　
to　blame　the　change　on　
Jacob's　continued　absence。　
The　terror　that　was　always　foremost　in　my　thoughts　usually　distracted　me　from　
the　fact　that　another　week　
had　passed；　and　Jacob　still　hadn't　called　me。　But　when　I　was　able　to　
concentrate　on　my　normal　life—if　
my　life　was　really　ever　normal—this　upset　me。　
I　missed　him　horribly。　
It　had　been　bad　enough　to　be　alone　before　I　was　scared　silly。　Now；　more　than　
ever；　I　yearned　for　his　
carefree　laugh　and　his　infectious　grin。　I　needed　the　safe　sanity　of　his　
homemade　garage　and　his　warm　
hand　around　my　cold　fingers。　
I'd　half　expected　him　to　call　on　Monday。　If　there　had　been　some　progress　with　
Embry；　wouldn't　he　want　
to　report　it？　I　wanted　to　believe　that　it　was　worry　for　his　friend　that　was　
occupying　all　his　time；　not　that　he　
was　just　giving　up　on　me。　
I　called　him　Tuesday；　but　no　one　answered。　Were　the　phone　lines　still　having　
problems？　Or　had　Billy　
invested　in　caller　I。D。？　
On　Wednesday　I　called　every　half　hour　until　after　eleven　at　night；　desperate　
to　hear　the　warmth　of　
Jacob's　voice。　
Thursday　I　sat　in　my　truck　in　front　of　my　house—with　the　locks　pushed　down—
keys　in　hand；　for　a　solid　
hour。　I　was　arguing　with　myself；　trying　to　justify　a　quick　trip　to　La　Push；　
but　I　couldn't　do　it。　
I　knew　that　Laurent　had　gone　back　to　Victoria　by　now。　If　I　went　to　La　Push；　I　
took　the　chance　of　leading　
one　of　them　there。　What　if　they　caught　up　to　me　when　Jake　was　nearby？　As　much　
as　it　hurt　me；　I　knew　it　
was　better　for　Jacob　that　he　was　avoiding　me。　Safer　for　him。　
It　was　bad　enough　that　I　couldn't　figure　out　a　way　to　keep　Charlie　safe。　
Nighttime　was　the　most　likely　
time　that　they　would　e　looking　ior　me；　and　what　could　I　say　to　get　Charlie　
out　of　the　house？　If　I　told　
him　the　truth；　he'd　have　me　locked　up　in　a　rubber　room　somewhere。　I　would　have　
endured　
that—weled　it；　even—if　it　could　have　kept　him　safe。　But　Victoria　would　
still　e　to　his　house　first；　
looking　for　me。　Maybe；　if　she　found　me　here；　that　would　be　enough　for　her。　
Maybe　she　would　just　leave　
when　she　was　done　with　me。　
So　I　couldn't　run　away。　Even　if　I　could；　where　would　I　go？　To　Renee？　I　
shuddered　at　the　thought　of　
dragging　my　lethal　shadows　into　my　mother's　safe；　sunny　world。　I　would　never　
endanger　her　that　way。　
The　worry　was　eating　a　hole　in　my　stomach。　Soon　I　would　have　matching　
punctures。　
That　night；　Charlie　did　me　another　favor　and　called　Harry　again　to　see　if　the　
Blacks　were　out　of　town。　
Harry　reported　that　Billy　had　attended　the　council　meeting　Wednesday　night；　
and　never　mentioned　
anything　about　leaving。　Charlie　warned　me　not　to　make　a　nuisance　of　myself—
Jacob　would　call　when　he　
got　around　to　it。　
Friday　afternoon；　as　I　drove　home　from　school；　it　hit　me　out　of　the　blue。　
I　wasn't　paying　attention　to　the　familiar　road；　letting　the　sound　of　the　
engine　deaden　my　brain　and　silence　
the　worries；　when　my　subconscious　delivered　a　verdict　it　must　have　been　
working　on　for　some　time　
without　my　knowledge。　
As　soon　as　I　thought　of　it；　I　felt　really　stupid　for　not　seeing　it　sooner。　
Sure。　I'd　had　a　lot　on　my　
mind—revenue…obsessed　vampires；　giant　mutant　wolves；　a　ragged　hole　in　the　
center　of　my　chest—but　
when　I　laid　the　evidence　out；　it　was　embarrassingly　obvious。　
Jacob　avoiding　me。　Charlie　saying　he　looked　strange；　upset。　。　。　。　Billy's　
vague；　unhelpful　answers。　
Holy　crow；　I　knew　exactly　what　was　going　on　with　Jacob。　
It　was　Sam　Uley。　Even　my　nightmares　had　been　trying　to　tell　me　that。　Sam　had　
gotten　to　Jacob。　
Whatever　was　happening　to　the　other　boys　on　the　reservation　had　reached　out　
and　stolen　my　friend。　
He'd　been　sucked　into　Sam's　cult。　
He　hadn't　given　up　on　me　at　all；　I　realized　with　a　rush　of　feeling。　
I　let　my　truck　idle　in　front　of　my　house。　What　should　I　do？　I　weighed　the　
dangers　against　each　other。　
If　I　went　looking　for　Jacob；　I　risked　the　chance　of　Victoria　or　Laurent　
finding　me　with　him。　
If　I　didn't　go　after　him；　Sam　would　pull　him　deep