time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第17部分

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e…　which　involved　getting　up　an　hour　before　dawn　to　warm　those　cantankerous　engines　and　stand　by　ready　to　fly　at　the　first　hint　of　real　or　simulated　danger。
　　
　　David　hated　this…he　would　not　willingly　attend　Judgment　Day　if　it　was　held；before　noon。
　　
　　There　was　another　drawback：　landing　on　these　floating　aerodromes。　On　land；　David　could　land　on　a　dime　and　give　back　change。　But　that　depended　on　his　own　skill；　highly　developed　because　his　own　skin　was　at　stake。　But　landing　on　a　carrier　depended　on　another　pilot's　skill…and　David　held　a　dark　opinion　of　entrusting　his　skin　to　the　skill；　good　intentions；　and　alertness　of　someone　else。
　　
　　Ira；　this　is　so　unlike　anything　you　are　likely　to　have　seen　in　your　life　that　I　am　at　loss。　Consider　your　skyport　here　at　New
　　
　　Rome：　In　landing；　a　ship　is　controlled　from　the　ground…　right？　So　it　was　with　aeroplanes　landing　on　carriers…but　the　analogy　breaks　down　because　a　landing　on　a　carrier　in　those　days　used　no　instruments。　None。　I'm　not　fooling。
　　
　　It　was　done　by　eye　alone；　just　as　a　boy　in　a　game　of　catch　snatches　a　ball　out　of　the　air…but　David　was　the　ball；　and　the
　　
　　skill　used　ta　catch　him　was　not　his　own　but　that　of　a　pilot　standing　on　the　carrier。　David　had　to　suppress　his　own　skill；　his　own　opinions；　and　place　utter　faith　in　the　pilot　on　the　carrier…anything　less　brought　disaster。
　　
　　David　had　always　followed　his　own　opinion…against　the　whole　world　if　necessary。　To　place　that　much…faith　in　another　man　ran　counter　to　his　deepest　emotions。　A　carrier　landing　was　like　baring　his　belly　to　a　surgeon　and　saying；　〃Go　ahead　and　cut〃…when　he　was　not　sure　that　surgeon　was　petent　to　slice　ham。　Carrier　landing　came　closer　to　causing　David　to　give　up　p3y…and…a…half　and　easy　hours　than　any　other　aspect　of　flying；　so　torn　was　he　by　the　necessity　of　accepting　another　pilot's　decision…and　one　not　even　sharing　his　danger；　at　that！
　　
　　It　took　all　his　willpower　to　do　it　the　first　time；　and　it　never　became　easy。　But　he　learned　one　lesson　that　he　never　expected　to　learn…that　is；　that　。　there　were　circumstances　in　which　another　man's　opinion　was　not　only　better　than　his　own；　but　inparably　better。
　　
　　You　see…no；　perhaps　you　don't；　I　have　not　explained　the　circumstances。　An　aeroplane　landed　on　a　carrier　in　a　controHed　crash；　through　a　hook　in　its　tail　catching　a　wire　rope　stretched　across　the　top　deck。　But　if　the　flier　'follows　his　own　judgment　based　on　experience　in　landing　on　a　flying　field；　he　is　certain　to　crash　into　the　stern　of　the　ship…or；　if　he　knows　this　and　tries　to　allow　for　it；　he　will　fly　too　high　and　miss　the　rope。　Instead　of　a　big　flat　field　and　plenty　of　room　for　minor　mistakes；　he　has　only　a　tiny　〃w鉵dow〃　which　he　must　hit　precisely；　neither　right　nor　left；　nor　up　nor　down；　nor　too　fast　nor　too　slow。　l~ut　he　can't　see　what　he　is　doing　well　enough　to　judge　these　variables　correctly。
　　
　　（Later　on；　the　process　was　made　semiautomatic；　then　automatic；　but　when　it　was　finally　perfected；　carriers　for　aeroplanes　were　obsolete…a　capsule　description　of　most　human　〃progress〃：　By　the　time　you　learn　how；　it's　too　late。
　　
　　（But　it　often　turns　out　that　what　you　have　learned　applies　to　some　new　problem。　Or　we　would　still　be　swinging　from　trees。）
　　
　　So　the　flier　in　the　aeroplane　must　trust　a　pilot　on　deck　who　can　see　what　is　going　on。　He　was　called　〃the　landing　signal　officer〃　and　used　wigwag　flags　to　signal　orders　to　the　aeroplane's　pilot。
　　
　　The　first　time　David　tried　this　unlikely　stunt　he　chased　around　the　sky　three　times　for　fresh　approaches　before　he　controlled　his　panic；　quit　trying　to　override　the　judgment　of　the　LSO；　and　was　allowed　to　land。
　　
　　Only　then　did　he　discover　how　scared　be　was…his　bladde　cut　loose。
　　
　　That　evening　he　was　awarded　a　fancy　certificate：　the　Roya　Order　of　the　Wet　Diaper…signed　by　the　ISO。　endorsed　by　hi　squadron　mander；　ates。　It　wa　a　low　point　in　his　life；　worse　than　any　his　plebe　year；　and　i　was　little　consolation　that　the　order　was　awarded　so　frequentl~　that　certificates　were　kept　ready　and　waiting　for　each　nev　group　of　still…damp　ifiers。
　　
　　From　then　on　he　was　letter…perfect　in　following　orders　01　landing　signal　officers；　obeying　like　a　robot；　emotions　and　judg　meat　suppressed　by　a　sort　of　autohypnosis。　When　it　came　tim　to　qualify　in　night　landings…much　worse　on　the　nerves　a　the　pilot　in　the　air　couldn't　see　anything　but　lighted　wands　th　LSO　waves　instead　of　flags…David　landed　perfectly　on　hi　first　approach。
　　
　　David　kept　his　mouth　shut　about　his　determination　not　t　seek　glory　as　a　fighter　pilot　until　he　pleted　all　requirement~　to　make　permanent　his　flying　status。　Then　he　put　in　a　requesi　for　advanced　training…in　multiple…engine　aircraft。　This　ww　embarrassing；　as　his　instructor　who　thought　so　well　of　his　po　tential　ander　and　it　was　necessar~　to　submit　this　request　through　；him。　Once　the　letter　startec　through　the　mill；　he　was　called　to　his　boss's　stateroom。
　　
　　〃Dave；　what　is　this？〃
　　
　　〃Just　what　it　says；　sir。　I　want　to　learn　to　fly　the　big　ones。'
　　
　　〃Are…　you　out　of　your　head？　You're　a　fighter　pilot。　Threc　months　of　this　scouting　squadron…one…quarter；　so　I　can　givc　you　a　good　Fitness　Report…and　you　do　indeed　leave　for　ad　vanced　training。　As　a　fighter。〃
　　
　　David　didn't　answer。　…
　　
　　His　squadron　mander　persisted。　〃Dave；　are　you　frettinl　over　that　silly　'Diaper　Diploma'？　Half　the　pilots　in　the　fleel　have　won　it。　Hell；　man；　I've　got　one　myself。　It　didn't　hurt　yot　with　your　shipmates；　it　just　made　you　look　human　when　yo~　were　beginning　to　suffer　from　too　tight　a　halo。〃
　　
　　David　still　did　not　ment。
　　
　　〃Damn　it；　don't　just　stand　there！　Take　this　letter　and　teal　it　up。　Then　submit　one　for　fighter　training。　I'll　let　you　go　now；　instead　of　waiting　three　months。〃
　　
　　Dave　stood　mute。　His　boss　looked　at　him　and　jurned　red。　then　said　softly；　〃Maybe　I　was　wrong。　Maybe　you　don'~　have　what　it　takes　to　be　a　fighter…Mister　Lamb。　That's　all。　Dismissed。〃
　　
　　In　the　〃big　ones；〃　the　multiple…engine　flying　boats；　David　at　last　found　his　home。　They　were　too　big　to　fly　from　a　carrier　at　sea；　instead　duty　with　them　counted　as　sea　duty；　although　in　fact　David　almost　always　slept　at　home…his　own　bed；　his　own　wife…save　for　an　occasional　night　as　duty　officer　when　he　slept　at　the　base；　and　still　less　frequent　occasions　when　the　big　boats　flew　at　night。　But　they　did　not　fly　too　often　even　in　daylight　and　fine　weather；　they　were　expensive　to　fly；　too　expensive　to　risk；　and　the　country　was　going　through　an　economy　wave。　They　flew　with　full　crews…four　or　five　for　two…engine　boats；　more　for　four…engine　boats；　and　often　with　passengers　to　permit　people　to　get　flying　time　to　qualify　for　that　extra　pay。　All　of　this　suited　Dave…no　more　nonsense　of　trying　to　navigate　while　doing　sixteen　other　things；　no　more　relying　on　the　judgment　of　a　landing　signal　officer；　no　more　depending　on　just　one　neurotic　engine；　no　more　worries　about　running　out　of　gas。　True；　given　a　choice；　he　would　always　make　every　landing　himself…but　when　he　was　ranked　out　of　this　by　a　senior　pilot；　he　did　not　let　his　worry　show　and　in　time　ceased　to　worry；　as　all　big…boat　pioth　w？re　careful　and　disposed　to　live　a　long　time。
　　
　　（Omitted）
　　
　　…years　David　spent　fortably　while　being　promoted　two　ranks。
　　
　　Then　war　broke　out。　There　were　always　wars　that　century
　　
　　…but　not　always　everywhere。　This　one　included　practically　every　nation　on　Earth。　David　took　a　dim　view　of　war；　in　his　opinion　the　purpose　of　a　navy　was　to　appear　so　fierce　as　to　make　it　unnecessary　to　fight。　But　he　was　not　asked；　and　it　was　too　late　to　worry；　too　late　to　resign；　nor　was　there　anywhere　to　run。　So　he　did　not　worry　about　what　he　could　not　help；　which　was　good；　as　the　war　was　long；　bitter；　and　involved　millions　ol　deaths。
　　
　　〃Grandfather　Lazarus；　what　did　you　do　during　this　war？〃　Me？　I　sold　Liberty　Bonds　and　made　four…minute　speeches　and　served　both　on　a　draft　board　and　a　rationing　board　and　made　other　valuable　contributions…until　the　President　called　me　to　Washington；　and　what　I　did　then　was　hush…hush　and　you　wouldn't　believe　it　if　I　told　you。　None　of　your　lip；　boy；　I　was　telling　you　what　David　did。
　　
　　0！'　David　was　an　authentic　hero。　He　was　cited　for　gallantry　and　awarded　a　decoration；　one　that　figures　into　the　rest　of　his　story。
　　
　　Dave　had　resigned　himself　to…or　looked　forward　to；　as　ma~
　　
　　be…retiring　at　the　rank　of　lieutenant　mander；　as　there　weren't　many　billets　higher　than　that　in　the　flying　boats。　But　the　war　jumped　him　to　lieutenant　mander　in　a　matter　of　weeks；　then　to　mander　a　year　later；　and　finally　to　captain；　four　wide　gold　stripes；　without　facing　a　selection　board；　taking　a　promotion　examination；　or　manding　a　vessel。　The　war　was　using　them　up　fast；　and　anyone　not　killed　was　promoted　as　long　as　he　kept　his　nose　clean。
　　
　　Dave's　nose　was　clean。　He　spent　part　of　the　war　patrolling　his　country's　coasts　for　enemy　underwater　vessels…〃cornbat　duty〃　by　definition　but　hardly　more　dangerous　than　peacetline　practice。　He　also　spent　a　tour　turning　clerks　and　salesmen　into　fliers。　He　had　one　assignment　into　a　zone　where　actual　fighting　was　going　on；　and　there　he　won　his　medal。　I　don't　know　the　details；　but　〃heroism〃　often　consists　in　keeping　your　head　in　an　emergency　and　doing　the　best　you　can　with　what　you　have　instead　of　panicking　and　being　shot　in　the　tail。　People　who　fight　this　way　win　more　battles　than　do　intentional　heroes；　a　glory　hound　often　throws　away　the　lives　of　his　mates　as　well　as　his　own。
　　
　　But　to　be　officially　a　hero　requires　luck；　too。　It　is　not　enough　to　do　your　job　under　fire　exceptionally　well；　it　is　necessary　that　someone…as　senior　as　possible…see　what　you　do　and　write　it　up。　Dave　had　that　bit　of　luck　and　got　his　medal。
　　
　　He　finished　the　war　in　his　nation's　capital；　in　the　Naval　Bureau　of　Aeronautics；　in　charge　of　development　of　patrol　planes。　Perhaps　he　did　more　good　there　than　he　did　in　bat；　since　he　knew　those　multiple…engine　craft　as　well　as　any　man　alive；　and　this　job　put　him　in　position　to　cut　out　obsolete　nonsense　and　push　through　some　improvements。　As　may　be；　he　finished　the　war　at　a　desk；　shuffling　papers　and　sleeping　at　home。
　　
　　Then　the　war　ended。
　　
　　Dave　looked　around　and　sized　up　the　prospects。　There　were　hundreds　of　Navy　captains　who；　like　himself；　had　been　lieutenants　only　three　years　earlier。　Since　the　peace　was　〃forever；〃　as　politicians　always　insist；　few　would　ever　be　promoted。　Dave　could　see　that　he　would　not　be　promoted；　he　had　neither　the　seniority；　the　traditionally　approved　pattern　of　service；　nor　the　right　connections；　political　and　social。
　　
　　What　he　did　have　was　almost　twenty　years'　service；　the　minimum　on　which　to　retire　at　half　pay。　Or　he　could　hang　on　until　he　was　forced　to　retire　through　failure　to　be　selected　for　admiral。
　　
　　There　was　no　need　to　decide　at　once；　twenty…year　retirement　was　a　year　or　two　off。
　　
　　But　he　did　retire　almost　at　once…for　medical　reasons。　The　diagnosis　was　〃psychosis　situational；〃　meaning　that　he　went　crazy　on　the　job。
　　
　　Ira；　I　don't　know　how　to　evaluate　this。　Dave　impressed　me　as　one　of