little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第98部分

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urbane　firmness；　that　he　must　not　be　contradicted　again）；　'I　took　the
liberty　of　requesting　this　interview；　in　order　that　I　might　mention　the
topic　to　you；　and　inquire　how　you　would　advise　me？'

'Mr　Dorrit；'　returned　Mrs　General；　'I　have　conversed　with　Amy　several
times　since　we　have　been　residing　here；　on　the　general　subject　of　the
formation　of　a　demeanour。　She　has　expressed　herself　to　me　as　wondering
exceedingly　at　Venice。　I　have　mentioned　to　her　that　it　is　better　not　to
wonder。　I　have　pointed　out　to　her　that　the　celebrated　Mr　Eustace；　the
classical　tourist；　did　not　think　much　of　it；　and　that　he　pared　the
Rialto；　greatly　to　its　disadvantage；　with　Westminster　and　Blackfriars
Bridges。　I　need　not　add；　after　what　you　have　said；　that　I　have　not　yet
found　my　arguments　successful。　You　do　me　the　honour　to　ask　me　what　to
advise。　It　always　appears　to　me　（if　this　should　prove　to　be　a　baseless
assumption；　I　shall　be　pardoned）；　that　Mr　Dorrit　has　been　accustomed　to
exercise　influence　over　the　minds　of　others。'

'Hum……madam；'　said　Mr　Dorrit；　'I　have　been　at　the　head　of……ha　of
a　considerable　munity。　You　are　right　in　supposing　that　I　am　not
unaccustomed　to……an　influential　position。'

'I　am　happy；'　returned　Mrs　General；　'to　be　so　corroborated。　I　would
therefore　the　more　confidently　remend　that　Mr　Dorrit　should　speak　to
Amy　himself；　and　make　his　observations　and　wishes　known　to　her。　Being
his　favourite；　besides；　and　no　doubt　attached　to　him；　she　is　all　the
more　likely　to　yield　to　his　influence。'

'I　had　anticipated　your　suggestion；　madam；'　said　Mr　Dorrit；
'but……ha……was　not　sure　that　I　might……hum……not　encroach　on……'

'On　my　province；　Mr　Dorrit？'　said　Mrs　General；　graciously。　'Do　not
mention　it。'

'Then；　with　your　leave；　madam；'　resumed　Mr　Dorrit；　ringing　his　little
bell　to　summon　his　valet；　'I　will　send　for　her　at　once。'

'Does　Mr　Dorrit　wish　me　to　remain？'

'Perhaps；　if　you　have　no　other　engagement；　you　would　not　object　for　a
minute　or　two……'

'Not　at　all。'

So；　Tinkler　the　valet　was　instructed　to　find　Miss　Amy's　maid；　and　to
request　that　subordinate　to　inform　Miss　Amy　that　Mr　Dorrit　wished　to
see　her　in　his　own　room。　In　delivering　this　charge　to　Tinkler；　Mr　Dorrit
looked　severely　at　him；　and　also　kept　a　jealous　eye　upon　him　until　he
went　out　at　the　door；　mistrusting　that　he　might　have　something　in　his
mind　prejudicial　to　the　family　dignity；　that　he　might　have　even　got　wind
of　some　Collegiate　joke　before　he　came　into　the　service；　and　might　be
derisively　reviving　its　remembrance　at　the　present　moment。　If　Tinkler
had　happened　to　smile；　however　faintly　and　innocently；　nothing　would
have　persuaded　Mr　Dorrit；　to　the　hour　of　his　death；　but　that　this　was
the　case。　As　Tinkler　happened；　however；　very　fortunately　for　himself；　to
be　of　a　serious　and　posed　countenance；　he　escaped　the　secret　danger
that　threatened　him。　And　as　on　his　return……when　Mr　Dorrit　eyed　him
again……he　announced　Miss　Amy　as　if　she　had　e　to　a　funeral；　he　left　a
vague　impression　on　Mr　Dorrit's　mind　that　he　was　a　well…conducted　young
fellow；　who　had　been　brought　up　in　the　study　of　his　Catechism　by　a
widowed　mother。

'Amy；'　said　Mr　Dorrit；　'you　have　just　now　been　the　subject　of　some
conversation　between　myself　and　Mrs　General。　We　agree　that　you　scarcely
seem　at　home　here。　Ha……how　is　this？'

A　pause。

'I　think；　father；　I　require　a　little　time。'

'Papa　is　a　preferable　mode　of　address；'　observed　Mrs　General。　'Father　is
rather　vulgar；　my　dear。　The　word　Papa；　besides；　gives　a　pretty　form　to
the　lips。　Papa；　potatoes；　poultry；　prunes；　and　prism　are　all　very
good　words　for　the　lips：　especially　prunes　and　prism。　You　will　find　it
serviceable；　in　the　formation　of　a　demeanour；　if　you　sometimes　say　to
yourself　in　pany……on　entering　a　room；　for　instance……Papa；　potatoes；
poultry；　prunes　and　prism；　prunes　and　prism。'

'Pray；　my　child；'　said　Mr　Dorrit；　'attend　to　the……hum……precepts　of　Mrs
General。'

Poor　Little　Dorrit；　with　a　rather　forlorn　glance　at　that　eminent
varnisher；　promised　to　try。

'You　say；　Amy；'　pursued　Mr　Dorrit；　'that　you　think　you　require　time。
Time　for　what？'

Another　pause。

'To　bee　accustomed　to　the　novelty　of　my　life；　was　all　I　meant；'　said
Little　Dorrit；　with　her　loving　eyes　upon　her　father；　whom　she　had　very
nearly　addressed　as　poultry；　if　not　prunes　and　prism　too；　in　her　desire
to　submit　herself　to　Mrs　General　and　please　him。

Mr　Dorrit　frowned；　and　looked　anything　but　pleased。　'Amy；'　he　returned；
'it　appears　to　me；　I　must　say；　that　you　have　had　abundance　of　time　for
that。　Ha……you　surprise　me。　You　disappoint　me。　Fanny　has　conquered　any
such　little　difficulties；　and……hum……why　not　you？'

'I　hope　I　shall　do　better　soon；'　said　Little　Dorrit。

'I　hope　so；'　returned　her　father。　'I……ha……I　most　devoutly　hope　so；　Amy。
I　sent　for　you；　in　order　that　I　might　say……hum……impressively　say；　in
the　presence　of　Mrs　General；　to　whom　we　are　all　so　much　indebted
for　obligingly　being　present　among　us；　on……ha……on　this　or　any　other
occasion；'　Mrs　General　shut　her　eyes；　'that　I……ha　hum……am　not　pleased
with　you。　You　make　Mrs　General's　a　thankless　task。　You……ha……embarrass
me　very　much。　You　have　always　（as　I　have　informed　Mrs　General）　been　my
favourite　child；　I　have　always　made　you　a……hum……a　friend　and　panion；
in　return；　I　beg……I……ha……I　do　beg；　that　you　acmodate　yourself
better　to……hum……circumstances；　and　dutifully　do　what　bees　your……your
station。'

Mr　Dorrit　was　even　a　little　more　fragmentary　than　usual；　being　excited
on　the　subject　and　anxious　to　make　himself　particularly　emphatic。

'I　do　beg；'　he　repeated；　'that　this　may　be　attended　to；　and　that　you
will　seriously　take　pains　and　try　to　conduct　yourself　in　a　manner　both
being　your　position　as……ha……Miss　Amy　Dorrit；　and　satisfactory　to
myself　and　Mrs　General。'

That　lady　shut　her　eyes　again；　on　being　again　referred　to；　then；　slowly
opening　them　and　rising；　added　these　words：　'If　Miss　Amy　Dorrit　will
direct　her　own　attention　to；　and　will　accept　of　my　poor　assistance　in；
the　formation　of　a　surface；　Mr。　Dorrit　will　have　no　further　cause　of
anxiety。　May　I　take　this　opportunity　of　remarking；　as　an　instance
in　point；　that　it　is　scarcely　delicate　to　look　at　vagrants　with　the
attention　which　I　have　seen　bestowed　upon　them　by　a　very　dear　young
friend　of　mine？　They　should　not　be　looked　at。　Nothing　disagreeable
should　ever　be　looked　at。　Apart　from　such　a　habit　standing　in　the　way
of　that　graceful　equanimity　of　surface　which　is　so　expressive　of　good
breeding；　it　hardly　seems　patible　with　refinement　of　mind。　A　truly
refined　mind　will　seem　to　be　ignorant　of　the　existence　of　anything　that
is　not　perfectly　proper；　placid；　and　pleasant。'　Having　delivered　this
exalted　sentiment；　Mrs　General　made　a　sweeping　obeisance；　and　retired
with　an　expression　of　mouth　indicative　of　Prunes　and　Prism。

Little　Dorrit；　whether　speaking　or　silent；　had　preserved　her　quiet
earnestness　and　her　loving　look。　It　had　not　been　clouded；　except　for　a
passing　moment；　until　now。　But　now　that　she　was　left　alone　with　him
the　fingers　of　her　lightly　folded　hands　were　agitated；　and　there　was
repressed　emotion　in　her　face。

Not　for　herself。　She　might　feel　a　little　wounded；　but　her　care　was　not
for　herself。　Her　thoughts　still　turned；　as　they　always　had　turned；　to
him。　A　faint　misgiving；　which　had　hung　about　her　since　their　accession
to　fortune；　that　even　now　she　could　never　see　him　as　he　used　to　be
before　the　prison　days；　had　gradually　begun　to　assume　form　in　her　mind。
She　felt　that；　in　what　he　had　just　now　said　to　her　and　in　his　whole
bearing　towards　her；　there　was　the　well…known　shadow　of　the　Marshalsea
wall。　It　took　a　new　shape；　but　it　was　the　old　sad　shadow。　She　began
with　sorrowful　unwillingness　to　acknowledge　to　herself　that　she　was
not　strong　enough　to　keep　off　the　fear　that　no　space　in　the　life　of　man
could　overe　that　quarter　of　a　century　behind　the　prison　bars。　She　had
no　blame　to　bestow　upon　him；　therefore：　nothing　to　reproach　him　with；
no　emotions　in　her　faithful　heart　but　great　passion　and　unbounded
tenderness。

This　is　why　it　was；　that；　even　as　he　sat　before　her　on　his　sofa；　in　the
brilliant　light　of　a　bright　Italian　day；　the　wonderful　city　without　and
the　splendours　of　an　old　palace　within；　she　saw　him　at　the　moment　in　the
long…familiar　gloom　of　his　Marshalsea　lodging；　and　wished　to　take　her
seat　beside　him；　and　fort　him；　and　be　again　full　of　confidence　with
him；　and　of　usefulness　to　him。　If　he　divined　what　was　in　her　thoughts；
his　own　were　not　in　tune　with　it。

After　some　uneasy　moving　in　his　seat；　he　got　up　and　walked　about；
looking　very　much　dissatisfied。

'Is　there　anything　else　you　wish　to　say　to　me；　dear　father？'

'No；　no。　Nothing　else。'

'I　am　sorry　you　have　not　been　pleased　with　me；　dear。　I　hope　you　will　not
think　of　me　with　displeasure　now。　I　am　going　to　try；　more　than　ever；　to
adapt　myself　as　you　wish　to　what　surrounds　me……for　indeed　I　have　tried
all　along；　though　I　have　failed；　I　know。'

'Amy；'　he　returned；　turning　short　upon　her。　'You……ha……habitually　hurt
me。'

'Hurt　you；　father！　I！'

'There　is　a……hum……a　topic；'　said　Mr　Dorrit；　looking　all　about　the
ceiling　of　the　room；　and　never　at　the　attentive；　unplainingly　shocked
face；　'a　painful　topic；　a　series　of　events　which　I　wish……ha……altogether
to　obliterate。　This　is　understood　by　your　sister；　who　has　already
remonstrated　with　you　in　my　presence；　it　is　understood　by　your　brother；
it　is　understood　by……ha　hum……by　every　one　of　delicacy　and　sensitiveness
except　yourself……ha……I　am　sorry　to　say；　except　yourself。　You；
Amy……hum……you　alone　and　only　you……constantly　revive　the　topic；　though
not　in　words。'

She　laid　her　hand　on　his　arm。　She　did　nothing　more。　She　gently　touched
him。　The　trembling　hand　may　have　said；　with　some　expression；　'Think　of
me；　think　how　I　have　worked；　think　of　my　many　cares！'　But　she　said　not　a
syllable　herself。

There　was　a　reproach　in　the　touch　so　addressed　to　him　that　she　had
not　foreseen；　or　she　would　have　withheld　her　hand。　He　began　to　justify
himself　in　a　heated；　stumbling；　angry　manner；　which　made　nothing　of　it。

'I　was　there　all　those　years。　I　was……ha……universally　acknowledged　as
the　head　of　the　place。　I……hum……I　caused　you　to　be　respected　there；　Amy。
I……ha　hum……I　gave　my　family　a　position　there。　I　deserve　a　return。　I
claim　a　return。　I　say；　sweep　it　off　the　face　of　the　earth　and　begin
afresh。　Is　that　much？　I　ask；　is　that　much？'　He　did　not　once　look　at　her；
as　he　rambled　on　in　this　way；　but　gesticulated　at；　and　appealed　to；　the
empty　air。

'I　have　suffered。　Probably　I　know　how　much　I　have　suffered　better　than
any　one……ha……I　say　than　any　one！　If　I　can　put　that　aside；　if　I　can
eradicate　the　marks　of　what　I　have　endured；　and　can　emerge　before　the
world……a……ha……gentleman　unspoiled；　unspotted……is　it　a　great　deal　to
expect……I　say　again；　is　it　a　great　deal　to　expect……that　my　children
should……hum……do　the　same　and　sweep　that　accursed　experience　off　the　face
of　the　earth？'

In　spite　of　his　flustered　state；　he　made　all　these　exclamations　in　a
carefully　suppressed　voice；　lest　the　valet　should　overhear　anything。

'Accordingly；　they　do　it。　Your　sister　does　it。　Your　brother　does　it。　You
alone；　my　favourite　child；　whom　I　made　the　friend　and　panio