little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第35部分

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mind　too　firm　and　healthy　for　such　unwholesome　air。　Leaving　himself　in
the　dark；　it　could　rise　into　the　light；　seeing　it　shine　on　others　and
hailing　it。

Therefore；　he　sat　before　his　dying　fire；　sorrowful　to　think　upon　the　way
by　which　he　had　e　to　that　night；　yet　not　strewing　poison　on　the　way
by　which　other　men　had　e　to　it。　That　he　should　have　missed　so　much；
and　at　his　time　of　life　should　look　so　far　about　him　for　any　staff　to
bear　him　pany　upon　his　downward　journey　and　cheer　it；　was　a　just
regret。　He　looked　at　the　fire　from　which　the　blaze　departed；　from　which
the　afterglow　subsided；　in　which　the　ashes　turned　grey；　from　which　they
dropped　to　dust；　and　thought；　'How　soon　I　too　shall　pass　through　such
changes；　and　be　gone！'

To　review　his　life　was　like　descending　a　green　tree　in　fruit　and　flower；
and　seeing　all　the　branches　wither　and　drop　off；　one　by　one；　as　he　came
down　towards　them。

'From　the　unhappy　suppression　of　my　youngest　days；　through　the　rigid　and
unloving　home　that　followed　them；　through　my　departure；　my　long　exile；
my　return；　my　mother's　wele；　my　intercourse　with　her　since；　down　to
the　afternoon　of　this　day　with　poor　Flora；'　said　Arthur　Clennam；　'what
have　I　found！'

His　door　was　softly　opened；　and　these　spoken　words　startled　him；　and
came　as　if　they　were　an　answer：

'Little　Dorrit。'




CHAPTER　14。　Little　Dorrit's　Party


Arthur　Clennam　rose　hastily；　and　saw　her　standing　at　the　door。　This
history　must　sometimes　see　with　Little　Dorrit's　eyes；　and　shall　begin
that　course　by　seeing　him。

Little　Dorrit　looked　into　a　dim　room；　which　seemed　a　spacious　one　to
her；　and　grandly　furnished。　Courtly　ideas　of　Covent　Garden；　as　a　place
with　famous　coffee…houses；　where　gentlemen　wearing　gold…laced　coats　and
swords　had　quarrelled　and　fought　duels；　costly　ideas　of　Covent　Garden；
as　a　place　where　there　were　flowers　in　winter　at　guineas　a…piece；
pine…apples　at　guineas　a　pound；　and　peas　at　guineas　a　pint；　picturesque
ideas　of　Covent　Garden；　as　a　place　where　there　was　a　mighty　theatre；
showing　wonderful　and　beautiful　sights　to　richly…dressed　ladies　and
gentlemen；　and　which　was　for　ever　far　beyond　the　reach　of　poor　Fanny　or
poor　uncle；　desolate　ideas　of　Covent　Garden；　as　having　all　those　arches
in　it；　where　the　miserable　children　in　rags　among　whom　she　had　just　now
passed；　like　young　rats；　slunk　and　hid；　fed　on　offal；　huddled　together
for　warmth；　and　were　hunted　about　（look　to　the　rats　young　and　old；　all
ye　Barnacles；　for　before　God　they　are　eating　away　our　foundations；　and
will　bring　the　roofs　on　our　heads！）；　teeming　ideas　of　Covent　Garden；　as
a　place　of　past　and　present　mystery；　romance；　abundance；　want；　beauty；
ugliness；　fair　country　gardens；　and　foul　street　gutters；　all　confused
together；……made　the　room　dimmer　than　it　was　in　Little　Dorrit's　eyes；　as
they　timidly　saw　it　from　the　door。

At　first　in　the　chair　before　the　gone…out　fire；　and　then　turned　round
wondering　to　see　her；　was　the　gentleman　whom　she　sought。　The　brown；
grave　gentleman；　who　smiled　so　pleasantly；　who　was　so　frank　and
considerate　in　his　manner；　and　yet　in　whose　earnestness　there　was
something　that　reminded　her　of　his　mother；　with　the　great　difference
that　she　was　earnest　in　asperity　and　he　in　gentleness。　Now　he　regarded
her　with　that　attentive　and　inquiring　look　before　which　Little　Dorrit's
eyes　had　always　fallen；　and　before　which　they　fell　still。

'My　poor　child！　Here　at　midnight？'

'I　said　Little　Dorrit；　sir；　on　purpose　to　prepare　you。　I　knew　you　must
be　very　much　surprised。'

'Are　you　alone？'

'No　sir；　I　have　got　Maggy　with　me。'

Considering　her　entrance　sufficiently　prepared　for　by　this　mention　of
her　name；　Maggy　appeared　from　the　landing　outside；　on　the　broad　grin。
She　instantly　suppressed　that　manifestation；　however；　and　became　fixedly
solemn。

'And　I　have　no　fire；'　said　Clennam。　'And　you　are……'　He　was　going　to　say
so　lightly　clad；　but　stopped　himself　in　what　would　have　been　a　reference
to　her　poverty；　saying　instead；　'And　it　is　so　cold。'

Putting　the　chair　from　which　he　had　risen　nearer　to　the　grate；　he　made
her　sit　down　in　it；　and　hurriedly　bringing　wood　and　coal；　heaped　them
together　and　got　a　blaze。

'Your　foot　is　like　marble；　my　child；'　he　had　happened　to　touch　it；　while
stooping　on　one　knee　at　his　work　of　kindling　the　fire；　'put　it　nearer
the　warmth。'　Little　Dorrit　thanked　him　hastily。　It　；　it
was　very　warm！　It　smote　upon　his　heart　to　feel　that　she　hid　her　thin；
worn　shoe。

Little　Dorrit　was　not　ashamed　of　her　poor　shoes。　He　knew　her　story；　and
it　was　not　that。　Little　Dorrit　had　a　misgiving　that　he　might　blame　her
father；　if　he　saw　them；　that　he　might　think；　'why　did　he　dine　to…day；
and　leave　this　little　creature　to　the　mercy　of　the　cold　stones！'　She　had
no　belief　that　it　would　have　been　a　just　reflection；　she　simply　knew；
by　experience；　that　such　delusions　did　sometimes　present　themselves　to
people。　It　was　a　part　of　her　father's　misfortunes　that　they　did。

'Before　I　say　anything　else；'　Little　Dorrit　began；　sitting　before
the　pale　fire；　and　raising　her　eyes　again　to　the　face　which　in　its
harmonious　look　of　interest；　and　pity；　and　protection；　she　felt　to　be　a
mystery　far　above　her　in　degree；　and　almost　removed　beyond　her　guessing
at；　'may　I　tell　you　something；　sir？'

'Yes；　my　child。'　A　slight　shade　of　distress　fell　upon　her；　at　his　so
often　calling　her　a　child。　She　was　surprised　that　he　should　see　it；　or
think　of　such　a　slight　thing；　but　he　said　directly：　'I　wanted　a　tender
word；　and　could　think　of　no　other。　As　you　just　now　gave　yourself　the
name　they　give　you　at　my　mother's；　and　as　that　is　the　name　by　which　I
always　think　of　you；　let　me　call　you　Little　Dorrit。'

'Thank　you；　sir；　I　should　like　it　better　than　any　name。'

'Little　Dorrit。'

'Little　mother；'　Maggy　（who　had　been　falling　asleep）　put　in；　as　a
correction。

'It's　all　the　same；　Maggy；'　returned　Little　Dorrit；　'all　the　same。'

'Is　it　all　the　same；　mother？'

'Just　the　same。'

Maggy　laughed；　and　immediately　snored。　In　Little　Dorrit's　eyes　and　ears；
the　uncouth　figure　and　the　uncouth　sound　were　as　pleasant　as　could　be。
There　was　a　glow　of　pride　in　her　big　child；　overspreading　her　face；　when
it　again　met　the　eyes　of　the　grave　brown　gentleman。　She　wondered　what　he
was　thinking　of；　as　he　looked　at　Maggy　and　her。　She　thought　what　a
good　father　he　would　be。　How；　with　some　such　look；　he　would　counsel　and
cherish　his　daughter。

'What　I　was　going　to　tell　you；　sir；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　'is；　that　MY
brother　is　at　large。'

Arthur　was　rejoiced　to　hear　it；　and　hoped　he　would　do　well。

'And　what　I　was　going　to　tell　you；　sir；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　trembling
in　all　her　little　figure　and　in　her　voice；　'is；　that　I　am　not　to　know
whose　generosity　released　him……am　never　to　ask；　and　am　never　to　be　told；
and　am　never　to　thank　that　gentleman　with　all　MY　grateful　heart！'

He　would　probably　need　no　thanks；　Clennam　said。　Very　likely　he　would　be
thankful　himself　（and　with　reason）；　that　he　had　had　the　means　and　chance
of　doing　a　little　service　to　her；　who　well　deserved　a　great　one。

'And　what　I　was　going　to　say；　sir；　is；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　trembling
more　and　more；　'that　if　I　knew　him；　and　I　might；　I　would　tell　him　that
he　can　never；　never　know　how　I　feel　his　goodness；　and　how　my　good　father
would　feel　it。　And　what　I　was　going　to　say；　sir；　is；　that　if　I　knew　him；
and　I　might……but　I　don't　know　him　and　I　must　not……I　know　that！……I　would
tell　him　that　I　shall　never　any　more　lie　down　to　sleep　without　having
prayed　to　Heaven　to　bless　him　and　reward　him。　And　if　I　knew　him；　and　I
might；　I　would　go　down　on　my　knees　to　him；　and　take　his　hand　and　kiss
it　and　ask　him　not　to　draw　it　away；　but　to　leave　it……O　to　leave　it　for　a
moment……and　let　my　thankful　tears　fall　on　it；　for　I　have　no　other　thanks
to　give　him！'

Little　Dorrit　had　put　his　hand　to　her　lips；　and　would　have　kneeled　to
him；　but　he　gently　prevented　her；　and　replaced　her　in　her　chair。

Her　eyes；　and　the　tones　of　her　voice；　had　thanked　him　far　better　than
she　thought。　He　posedly　as　usual；
'There；　Little　Dorrit；　there；　there；　there！　We　will　suppose　that　you　did
know　this　person；　and　that　you　might　do　all　this；　and　that　it　was　all
done。　And　now　tell　me；　Who　am　quite　another　person……who　am　nothing
more　than　the　friend　who　begged　you　to　trust　him……why　you　are　out　at
midnight；　and　what　it　is　that　brings　you　so　far　through　the　streets
at　this　late　hour；　my　slight；　delicate；'　child　was　on　his　lips　again；
'Little　Dorrit！'

'Maggy　and　I　have　been　to…night；'　she　answered；　subduing　herself　with
the　quiet　effort　that　had　long　been　natural　to　her；　'to　the　theatre
where　my　sister　is　engaged。'

'And　oh　ain't　it　a　Ev'nly　place；'　suddenly　interrupted　Maggy；　who　seemed
to　have　the　power　of　going　to　sleep　and　waking　up　whenever　she　chose。
'Almost　as　good　as　a　hospital。　Only　there　ain't　no　Chicking　in　it。'

Here　she　shook　herself；　and　fell　asleep　again。

'We　went　there；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　glancing　at　her　charge；　'because
I　like　sometimes　to　know；　of　my　own　knowledge；　that　my　sister　is　doing
well；　and　like　to　see　her　there；　with　my　own　eyes；　when　neither　she　nor
Uncle　is　aware。　It　is　very　seldom　indeed　that　I　can　do　that；　because
when　I　am　not　out　at　work；　I　am　with　my　father；　and　even　when　I　am　out
at　work；　I　hurry　home　to　him。　But　I　pretend　to…night　that　I　am　at　a
party。'

As　she　made　the　confession；　timidly　hesitating；　she　raised　her　eyes　to
the　face；　and　read　its　expression　so　plainly　that　she　answered　it。　'Oh
no；　certainly！　I　never　was　at　a　party　in　my　life。'　She　paused　a　little
under　his　attentive　look；　and　then　said；　'I　hope　there　is　no　harm　in　it。
I　could　never　have　been　of　any　use；　if　I　had　not　pretended　a　little。'

She　feared　that　he　was　blaming　her　in　his　mind　for　so　devising　to
contrive　for　them；　think　for　them；　and　watch　over　them；　without　their
knowledge　or　gratitude；　perhaps　even　with　their　reproaches　for　supposed
neglect。　But　what　was　really　in　his　mind；　was　the　weak　figure　with　its
strong　purpose；　the　thin　worn　shoes；　the　insufficient　dress；　and　the
pretence　of　recreation　and　enjoyment。　He　asked　where　the　suppositious
party　was？　At　a　place　where　she　worked；　answered　Little　Dorrit；
blushing。　She　had　said　very　little　about　it；　only　a　few　words　to
make　her　father　easy。　Her　father　did　not　believe　it　to　be　a　grand
party……indeed　he　might　suppose　that。　And　she　glanced　for　an　instant　at
the　shawl　she　wore。

'It　is　the　first　night；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　'that　I　have　ever　been　away
from　home。　And　London　looks　so　large；　so　barren；　and　so　wild。'　In　Little
Dorrit's　eyes；　its　vastness　under　the　black　sky　was　awful；　a　tremor
passed　over　her　as　she　said　the　words。

'But　this　is　not；'　she　added；　with　the　quiet　effort　again；　'what　I　have
e　to　trouble　you　with；　sir。　My　sister's　having　found　a　friend；　a　lady
she　has　told　me　of　and　made　me　rather　anxious　about；　was　the　first　cause
of　my　ing　away　from　home。　And　being　away；　and　ing　（on　purpose）
round　by　where　you　lived　and　seeing　a　light　in　the　window……'

Not　for　the　first　time。　No；　not　for　the　first　time。　In　Little　Dorrit's
eyes；　the　outside　of　that　window　had　been　a　distant　star　on　other　nights
than　this。　She　had　toiled　out　of　her　way；　tired　and　troubled；