little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第167部分

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pains　to　do　it。　I　put　the　question　personally；　but　there's　nothing
personal　in　it。　I　might　put　it　to　any　one；　I　have　put　it　already　to　many
people。　Did　he　leave　them　here？　Did　he　leave　anything　here？'

'No。'

'Then　unfortunately；　Miss　Wade；　you　know　nothing　about　them？'

'I　know　nothing　about　them。　I　have　now　answered　your　unaccountable
question。　He　did　not　leave　them　here；　and　I　know　nothing　about　them。'

'There！'　said　Mr　Meagles　rising。　'I　am　sorry　for　it；　that's　over；　and　I
hope　there　is　not　much　harm　done。……Tattycoram　well；　Miss　Wade？'

'Harriet　well？　O　yes！'

'I　have　put　my　foot　in　it　again；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　thus　corrected。　'I
can't　keep　my　foot　out　of　it　here；　it　seems。　Perhaps；　if　I　had　thought
twice　about　it；　I　might　never　have　given　her　the　jingling　name。　But；
when　one　means　to　be　good…natured　and　sportive　with　young　people；　one
doesn't　think　twice。　Her　old　friend　leaves　a　kind　word　for　her；　Miss
Wade；　if　you　should　think　proper　to　deliver　it。'

She　said　nothing　as　to　that；　and　Mr　Meagles；　taking　his　honest　face　out
of　the　dull　room；　where　it　shone　like　a　sun；　took　it　to　the　Hotel　where
he　had　left　Mrs　Meagles；　and　where　he　made　the　Report：　'Beaten；　Mother；
no　effects！'　He　took　it　next　to　the　London　Steam　Packet；　which　sailed　in
the　night；　and　next　to　the　Marshalsea。

The　faithful　John　was　on　duty　when　Father　and　Mother　Meagles　presented
themselves　at　the　wicket　towards　nightfall。　Miss　Dorrit　was　not　there
then；　he　said；　but　she　had　been　there　in　the　morning；　and　invariably
came　in　the　evening。　Mr　Clennam　was　slowly　mending；　and　Maggy　and　Mrs
Plornish　and　Mr　Baptist　took　care　of　him　by　turns。　Miss　Dorrit　was　sure
to　e　back　that　evening　before　the　bell　rang。　There　was　the　room　the
Marshal　had　lent　her；　up…stairs；　in　which　they　could　wait　for　her；　if
they　pleased。　Mistrustful　that　it　might　be　hazardous　to　Arthur　to　see
him　without　preparation；　Mr　Meagles　accepted　the　offer；　and　they　were
left　shut　up　in　the　room；　looking　down　through　its　barred　window　into
the　jail。

The　cramped　area　of　the　prison　had　such　an　effect　on　Mrs　Meagles　that
she　began　to　weep；　and　such　an　effect　on　Mr　Meagles　that　he　began　to
gasp　for　air。　He　was　walking　up　and　down　the　room；　panting；　and　making
himself　worse　by　laboriously　fanning　himself　with　her　handkerchief；　when
he　turned　towards　the　opening　door。

'Eh？　Good　gracious！'　said　Mr　Meagles；　'this　is　not　Miss　Dorrit！　Why；
Mother；　look！　Tattycoram！'

No　other。　And　in　Tattycoram's　arms　was　an　iron　box　some　two　feet　square。
Such　a　box　had　Affery　Flintwinch　seen；　in　the　first　of　her　dreams；　going
out　of　the　old　house　in　the　dead　of　the　night　under　Double's　arm。　This；
Tattycoram　put　on　the　ground　at　her　old　master's　feet：　this；　Tattycoram
fell　on　her　knees　by；　and　beat　her　hands　upon；　crying　half　in　exultation
and　half　in　despair；　half　in　laughter　and　half　in　tears；　'Pardon；　dear
Master；　take　me　back；　dear　Mistress；　here　it　is！'

'Tatty！'　exclaimed　Mr　Meagles。

'What　you　wanted！'　said　Tattycoram。　'Here　it　is！　I　was　put　in　the　next
room　not　to　see　you。　I　heard　you　ask　her　about　it；　I　heard　her　say　she
hadn't　got　it；　I　was　there　when　he　left　it；　and　I　took　it　at　bedtime　and
brought　it　away。　Here　it　is！'

'Why；　my　girl；'　cried　Mr　Meagles；　more　breathless　than　before；　'how　did
you　e　over？'

'I　came　in　the　boat　with　you。　I　was　sitting　wrapped　up　at　the　other　end。
When　you　took　a　coach　at　the　wharf；　I　took　another　coach　and　followed
you　here。　She　never　would　have　given　it　up　after　what　you　had　said　to
her　about　its　being　wanted；　she　would　sooner　have　sunk　it　in　the　sea；　or
burnt　it。　But；　here　it　is！'

The　glow　and　rapture　that　the　girl　was　in；　with　her　'Here　it　is！'

'She　never　wanted　it　to　be　left；　I　must　say　that　for　her；　but　he　left
it；　and　I　knew　well　that　after　what　you　said；　and　after　her　denying
it；　she　never　would　have　given　it　up。　But　here　it　is！　Dear　Master；　dear
Mistress；　take　me　back　again；　and　give　me　back　the　dear　old　name！　Let
this　intercede　for　me。　Here　it　is！'

Father　and　Mother　Meagles　never　deserved　their　names　better　than　when
they　took　the　headstrong　foundling…girl　into　their　protection　again。

'Oh！　I　have　been　so　wretched；'　cried　Tattycoram；　weeping　much　more；
'always　so　unhappy；　and　so　repentant！　I　was　afraid　of　her　from　the　first
time　I　saw　her。　I　knew　she　had　got　a　power　over　me　through　understanding
what　was　bad　in　me　so　well。　It　was　a　madness　in　me；　and　she　could　raise
it　whenever　she　liked。　I　used　to　think；　when　I　got　into　that　state；　that
people　were　all　against　me　because　of　my　first　beginning；　and　the　kinder
they　were　to　me；　the　worse　fault　I　found　in　them。　I　made　it　out　that
they　triumphed　above　me；　and　that　they　wanted　to　make　me　envy　them；　when
I　know……when　I　even　knew　then……that　they　never　thought　of　such　a　thing。
And　my　beautiful　young　mistress　not　so　happy　as　she　ought　to　have　been；
and　I　gone　away　from　her！　Such　a　brute　and　a　wretch　as　she　must　think
me！　But　you'll　say　a　word　to　her　for　me；　and　ask　her　to　be　as　forgiving
as　you　two　are？　For　I　am　not　so　bad　as　I　was；'　pleaded　Tattycoram；　'I　am
bad　enough；　but　not　so　bad　as　I　was；　indeed。　I　have　had　Miss　Wade
before　me　all　this　time；　as　if　it　was　my　own　self　grown　ripe……turning
everything　the　wrong　way；　and　twisting　all　good　into　evil。　I　have　had
her　before　me　all　this　time；　finding　no　pleasure　in　anything　but　keeping
me　as　miserable；　suspicious；　and　tormenting　as　herself。　Not　that　she　had
much　to　do；　to　do　that；'　cried　Tattycoram；　in　a　closing　great　burst　of
distress；　'for　I　was　as　bad　as　bad　could　be。　I　only　mean　to　say；　that；
after　what　I　have　gone　through；　I　hope　I　shall　never　be　quite　so　bad
again；　and　that　I　shall　get　better　by　very　slow　degrees。　I'll　try　very
hard。　I　won't　stop　at　five…and…twenty；　sir；　I'll　count　five…and…twenty
hundred；　five…and…twenty　thousand！'

Another　opening　of　the　door；　and　Tattycoram　subsided；　and　Little　Dorrit
came　in；　and　Mr　Meagles　with　pride　and　joy　produced　the　box；　and　her
gentle　face　was　lighted　up　with　grateful　happiness　and　joy。

The　secret　was　safe　now！　She　could　keep　her　own　part　of　it　from　him；　he
should　never　know　of　her　loss；　in　time　to　e　he　should　know　all　that
was　of　import　to　himself；　but　he　should　never　know　what　concerned　her
only。　That　was　all　passed；　all　forgiven；　all　forgotten。

'Now；　my　dear　Miss　Dorrit；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　'I　am　a　man　of　business……or
at　least　was……and　I　am　going　to　take　my　measures　promptly；　in　that
character。　Had　I　better　see　Arthur　to…night？'

'I　think　not　to…night。　I　will　go　to　his　room　and　ascertain　how　he　is。
But　I　think　it　will　be　better　not　to　see　him　to…night。'

'I　am　much　of　your　opinion；　my　dear；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　'and　therefore
I　have　not　been　any　nearer　to　him　than　this　dismal　room。　Then　I　shall
probably　not　see　him　for　some　little　time　to　e。　But　I'll　explain　what
I　mean　when　you　e　back。'

She　left　the　room。　Mr　Meagles；　looking　through　the　bars　of　the　window；
saw　her　pass　out　of　the　Lodge　below　him　into　the　prison…yard。　He　said
gently；　'Tattycoram；　e　to　me　a　moment；　my　good　girl。'

She　went　up　to　the　window。

'You　see　that　young　lady　who　was　here　just　now……that　little；　quiet；
fragile　figure　passing　along　there；　Tatty？　Look。　The　people　stand　out
of　the　way　to　let　her　go　by。　The　men……see　the　poor；　shabby　fellows……pull
off　their　hats　to　her　quite　politely；　and　now　she　glides　in　at　that
doorway。　See　her；　Tattycoram？'

'Yes；　sir。'

'I　have　heard　tell；　Tatty；　that　she　was　once　regularly　called　the　child
of　this　place。　She　was　born　here；　and　lived　here　many　years。

I　can't　breathe　here。　A　doleful　place　to　be　born　and　bred　in；
Tattycoram？'

'Yes　indeed；　sir！'

'If　she　had　constantly　thought　of　herself；　and　settled　with　herself　that
everybody　visited　this　place　upon　her；　turned　it　against　her；　and　cast
it　at　her；　she　would　have　led　an　irritable　and　probably　an　useless
existence。　Yet　I　have　heard　tell；　Tattycoram；　that　her　young　life　has
been　one　of　active　resignation；　goodness；　and　noble　service。　Shall　I
tell　you　what　I　consider　those　eyes　of　hers；　that　were　here　just　now；　to
have　always　looked　at；　to　get　that　expression？'

'Yes；　if　you　please；　sir。'

'Duty；　Tattycoram。　Begin　it　early；　and　do　it　well；　and　there　is　no
antecedent　to　it；　in　any　origin　or　station；　that　will　tell　against　us
with　the　Almighty；　or　with　ourselves。'

They　remained　at　the　window；　Mother　joining　them　and　pitying　the
prisoners；　until　she　was　seen　ing　back。　She　was　soon　in　the　room；　and
remended　that　Arthur；　whom　she　had　left　calm　and　posed；　should　not
be　visited　that　night。

'Good！'　said　Mr　Meagles；　cheerily。　'I　have　not　a　doubt　that's　best。　I
shall　trust　my　remembrances　then；　my　sweet　nurse；　in　your　hands；　and　I
well　know　they　couldn't　be　in　better。　I　am　off　again　to…morrow　morning。'

Little　Dorrit；　surprised；　asked　him　where？

'My　dear；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　'I　can't　live　without　breathing。　This　place
has　taken　my　breath　away；　and　I　shall　never　get　it　back　again　until
Arthur　is　out　of　this　place。'

'How　is　that　a　reason　for　going　off　again　to…morrow　morning？'

'You　shall　understand；'　said　Mr　Meagles。　'To…night　we　three　will　put　up
at　a　City　Hotel。　To…morrow　morning；　Mother　and　Tattycoram　will　go　down
to　Twickenham；　where　Mrs　Tickit；　sitting　attended　by　Dr　Buchan　in　the
parlour…window；　will　think　them　a　couple　of　ghosts；　and　I　shall　go
abroad　again　for　Doyce。　We　must　have　Dan　here。　Now；　I　tell　you；　my　love；
it's　of　no　use　writing　and　planning　and　conditionally　speculating　upon
this　and　that　and　the　other；　at　uncertain　intervals　and　distances；　we
must　have　Doyce　here。　I　devote　myself　at　daybreak　to…morrow　morning；　to
bringing　Doyce　here。　It's　nothing　to　me　to　go　and　find　him。　I'm　an　old
traveller；　and　all　foreign　languages　and　customs　are　alike　to　me……I
never　understand　anything　about　any　of　'em。　Therefore　I　can't　be　put
to　any　inconvenience。　Go　at　once　I　must；　it　stands　to　reason；　because
I　can't　live　without　breathing　freely；　and　I　can't　breathe　freely　until
Arthur　is　out　of　this　Marshalsea。　I　am　stifled　at　the　present　moment；
and　have　scarcely　breath　enough　to　say　this　much；　and　to　carry　this
precious　box　down…stairs　for　you。'

They　got　into　the　street　as　the　bell　began　to　ring；　Mr　Meagles　carrying
the　box。　Little　Dorrit　had　no　conveyance　there：　which　rather　surprised
him。　He　called　a　coach　for　her　and　she　got　into　it；　and　he　placed　the
box　beside　her　when　she　was　seated。　In　her　joy　and　gratitude　she　kissed
his　hand。

'I　don't　like　that；　my　dear；'　said　Mr　Meagles。　'It　goes　against　my
feeling　of　what's　right；　that　YOU　should　do　homage　to　ME……at　the
Marshalsea　Gate。'

She　bent　forward；　and　kissed　his　cheek。

'You　remind　me　of　the　days；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　suddenly　drooping……'but
she's　very　fond　of　him；　and　hides　his　faults；　and　thinks　that　no
one　sees　them……and　he　certainly　is　well　connected　and　of　a　very　good
family！'

It　was　the　only　fort　he　had　in　the　loss　of　his　daughter；　and　if　he
made　the　most　of　it；　who　could　blame　him？




CHAPTER　34。　Gone


On　a　healthy　autumn　day；　the　Marshalsea　prisoner；　weak　but　otherwise
restored；　sat　listening　to　a　voice　that　read　to　him。　On　a　healthy　autumn
day；　when　the　golden　fields　had　been　reaped　and　ploughed　again；　when　the
summer　fruit