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the hunger games-饥饿游戏(英文版)-第47部分
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als； either； but a pair of sturdy black boots he keeps solidly planted on the stage。 I wish Cinna had given me a similar outfit； I feel so vulnerable in this flimsy dress。 But I guess that was the point。
Caesar Flickerman makes a few more jokes； and then itˇs time for the show。 This will last exactly three hours and is required viewing for all of Panem。 As the lights dim and the seal appears on the screen； I realize Iˇm unprepared for this。 I do not want to watch my twenty…two fellow tributes die。 I saw enough of them die the first time。 My heart starts pounding and I have a strong impulse to run。 How have the other victors faced this alone？ During the highlights； they periodically show the winnerˇs reaction up on a box in the corner of the screen。 I think back to earlier years 。 。 。 some are triumphant； pumping their fists in the air； beating their chests。 Most just seem stunned。 All I know is that the only thing keeping me on this love seat is Peeta his arm around my shoulder； his other hand claimed by both of mine。 Of course； the previous victors didnˇt have the Capitol looking for a way to destroy them。
Condensing several weeks into three hours is quite a feat； especially when you consider how many cameras were going at once。 Whoever puts together the highlights has to choose what sort of story to tell。 This year； for the first time； they tell a love story。 I know Peeta and I won； but a disproportionate amount of time is spent on us； right from the beginning。 Iˇm glad though； because it supports the whole crazy…in…love thing thatˇs my defense for defying the Capitol； plus it means we wonˇt have as much time to linger over the deaths。
The first half hour or so focuses on the pre…arena events； the reaping； the chariot ride through the Capitol； our training scores； and our interviews。 Thereˇs this sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under it that makes it twice as awful because； of course； almost everyone on…screen is dead。
Once weˇre in the arena； thereˇs detailed coverage of the bloodbath and then the filmmakers basically alternate between shots of tributes dying and shots of us。 Mostly Peeta really； thereˇs no question heˇs carrying this romance thing on his shoulders。 Now I see what the audience saw； how he misled the Careers about me； stayed awake the entire night under the tracker jacker tree； fought Cato to let me escape and even while he lay in that mud bank； whispered my name in his sleep。 I seem heartless in parison dodging fireballs； dropping nests； and blowing up supplies until I go hunting for Rue。 They play her death in full； the spearing； my failed rescue attempt； my arrow through the boy from District 1ˇs throat； Rue drawing her last breath in my arms。 And the song。 I get to sing every note of the song。 Something inside me shuts down and Iˇm too numb to feel anything。 Itˇs like watching plete strangers in another Hunger Games。 But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her in flowers。
Right。 Because even that smacks of rebellion。
Things pick up for me once theyˇve announced two tributes from the same district can live and I shout out Peetaˇs name and then clap my hands over my mouth。 If Iˇve seemed indifferent to him earlier； I make up for it now； by finding him； nursing him back to health； going to the feast for the medicine； and being very free with my kisses。 Objectively； I can see the mutts and Catoˇs death are as gruesome as ever； but again； I feel it happens to people I have never met。
And then es the moment with the berries。 I can hear the audience hushing one another； not wanting to miss anything。 A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory； but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft； screaming Peetaˇs name as they try to revive him。
In terms of survival； itˇs my best moment all night。
The anthemˇs playing yet again and we rise as President Snow himself takes the stage followed by a little girl carrying a cushion that holds the crown。 Thereˇs just one crown； though； and you can hear the crowdˇs confusion whose head will he place it on？ until President Snow gives it a twist and it separates into two halves。 He places the first around Peetaˇs brow with a smile。 Heˇs still smiling when he settles the second on my head； but his eyes； just inches from mine； are as unforgiving as a snakeˇs。
Thatˇs when I know that even though both of us would have eaten the berries； I am to blame for having the idea。 Iˇm the instigator。 Iˇm the one to be punished。
Much bowing and cheering follows。 My arm is about to fall off from waving when Caesar Flickerman finally bids the audience good night； reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews。 As if they have a choice。
Peeta and I are whisked to the presidentˇs mansion for the Victory Banquet； where we have very little time to eat as Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors elbow one another out of the way as they try to get their picture with us。 Face after beaming face flashes by； being increasingly intoxicated as the evening wears on。 Occasionally； I catch a glimpse of Haymitch； which is reassuring； or President Snow； which is terrifying； but I keep laughing and thanking people and smiling as my picture is taken。 The one thing I never do is let go of Peetaˇs hand。
The sun is just peeking over the horizon when we straggle back to the twelfth floor of the Training Center。 I think now Iˇll finally get a word alone with Peeta； but Haymitch sends him off with Portia to get something fitted for the interview and personally escorts me to my door。
¨Why canˇt I talk to him？〃 I ask。
¨Plenty of time for talk when we get home；〃 says Haymitch。 ¨Go to bed； youˇre on air at two。〃
Despite Haymitchˇs running interference； Iˇm determined to see Peeta privately。 After I toss and turn for a few hours； I slip into the hall。 My first thought is to check the roof； but itˇs empty。 Even the city streets far below are deserted after the celebration last night。 I go back to bed for a while and then decide to go directly to his room； but when I try to turn the knob； I find my own bedroom door has been locked from the outside。 I suspect Haymitch initially； but then thereˇs a more insidious fear that the Capitol may by monitoring and confining me。 Iˇve been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began； but this feels different； much more personal。 This feels like Iˇve been imprisoned for a crime and Iˇm awaiting sentencing。 I quickly get back in bed and pretend to sleep until Effie Trinket es
to alert me to the start of another ¨big； big； big day！〃
I have about five minutes to eat a bowl of hot grain and stew before the prep team descends。 All I have to say is； ¨The crowd loved you！〃 and itˇs unnecessary to speak for the next couple of hours。 When Cinna es in； he shoos them out and dresses me in a white； gauzy dress and pink shoes。 Then he personally adjusts my makeup until I seem to radiate a soft； rosy glow。 We make idle chitchat； but Iˇm afraid to ask him anything of real importance because after the incident with the door； I canˇt shake the feeling that Iˇm being watched constantly。
The interview takes place right down the hall in the sitting room。 A space has been cleared and the love seat has been moved in and surrounded by vases of red and pink roses。 There are only a handful of cameras to record the event。 No live audience at least。
Caesar Flickerman gives me a warm hug when I。 e in。 ¨Congratulations； Katniss。 How are you faring？〃
¨Fine。 Nervous about the interview；〃 I say。
¨Donˇt be。 Weˇre going to have a fabulous time；〃 he says； giving my cheek a reassuring pat。
¨Iˇm not good at talking about myself；〃 I say。
¨Nothing you say will be wrong；〃 he says。
And I think； Oh； Caesar； if only that were true。 But actually； President Snow may be arranging some sort of ¨accident〃 for me as we speak。
Then Peetaˇs there looking handsome in red and white； pulling me off to the side。 ¨I hardly get to see you。 Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart。〃
Haymitch is actually bent on keeping us alive； but there are too many ears listening； so I just say； ¨Yes； heˇs gotten very responsible lately。〃
¨Well； thereˇs just this and we go home。 Then he canˇt watch us all the time；〃 says Peeta。
I feel a sort of shiver run through me and thereˇs no time to analyze why； because theyˇre ready for us。 We sit somewhat formally on the love seat； but Caesar says； ¨Oh； go ahead and curl up next to him if you want。 It looked very sweet。〃 So I tuck my feet up and Peeta pulls me in close to him。
Someone counts backward and just like that； weˇre being broadcast live to the entire country。 Caesar Flickerman is wonderful； teasing； joking； getting choked up when the occasion presents itself。 He and Peeta already have the rapport they established that night of the first interview； that easy banter； so I just smile a lot and try to speak as little as possible。 I mean； I have to talk some； but as soon as I can I redirect the conversation back to Peeta。
Eventually though； Caesar begins to pose questions that insist on fuller answers。 ¨Well； Peeta； we know； from our days in the cave； that it was love at first sight for you from what； age five？〃 Caesar says。
¨From the moment I laid eyes on her；〃 says Peeta。
¨But； Katniss； what a ride for you。 I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him。 When did you realize you were in love with him？〃 asks Caesar。
¨Oh； thatˇs a hard one 。 。 。〃 I give a faint； breathy laugh and look down at my hands。 Help。
¨Well； I know when it hit me。 The night when you shouted out his name from that tree；〃 says Caesar。
Thank you； Caesar！ I think； and then go with his idea。 ¨Yes； I guess that was it。 I mean； until that point； I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be； honestly； because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him。 But then； in the tree； everything changed；〃 I say。
¨Why do you think that was？〃 urges Caesar。
¨Maybe 。 。 。 because for the first time 。 。 。 there was a chance I could keep him；〃 I say。
Behind a cameraman； I see Haymitch give a sort of huff with relief and I know Iˇve said the right thing。 Caesar pulls out a handkerchief and has to take a moment because heˇs so moved。 I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks； ¨So now that youˇve got me； what are you going to do with me？〃
I turn in to him。 ¨Put you somewhere you canˇt get hurt。〃 And when he kisses me； people in the room actually sigh。
For Caesar； this is a natural place to segue into all the ways we did get hurt in the arena； from burns； to stings； to wounds。 But itˇs not until we get around to the mutts that I forget Iˇm on camera。 When Caesar asks Peeta how his ¨new leg〃 is working out。
¨New leg？〃 I say； and I canˇt help reaching out and pulling up the bottom of Peetaˇs pants。 ¨Oh； no；〃 I whisper； taking in the metal…and…plastic device that has replaced his flesh。
¨No one told you？〃 asks Caesar gently。 I shake my head。
¨I havenˇt had the chance；〃 says Peeta with a slight shrug。
¨Itˇs my fault；〃 I say。 ¨Because I used that tourniquet。〃
¨Yes； itˇs your fault Iˇm alive
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