the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第6部分

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　least　the　only　one　with　electricity。

She　stepped　on　the　dock　and　it　creaked　under　her　foot。　The　sound　reminded　her　of　a　rusty　squeezebox。　Noah　glanced　up；　then　went　back　to　checking　the　crabs；　making　sure　they　were　the　right　size。　She　walked　to　the　rocker　that　sat　on　the　dock　and　touched　it；　running　her　hand　along　the　back。　She　could　picture　him　sitting　in　it；　Fishing；　thinking；　reading。　It　was　old　and　weather…beaten；　rough…feeling。　She　wondered　how　much　time　he　spent　here　alone；　and　about　his　thoughts　at　times　like　those。

A　pulsion　had　driven　her　here；　and　for　the　first　time　in　three　weeks　the　feeling　was　gone。　She’d　needed　Noah　to　know　about　her　engagement；　to　understand；　to　accept　it—she　was　sure　of　that　now。　While　thinking　of　him；　she　was　reminded　of　something　they　shared　the　summer　they　were　together。　With　head　down；　she　paced　around　slowly　until　she　found　it—the　carving。　Noah　loves　Allie；　in　a　heart。　Carved　into　the　dock　a　few　days　before　she’d　left。

A　breeze　broke　the　stillness　and　chilled　her；　making　her　cross　her　arms。　She　stood　that　way；　alternately　looking　down　at　the　caning　and　then　towards　the　river；　until　she　heard　him　reach　her　side。　She　could　feel　his　closeness；　his　warmth。

“It’s　so　peaceful　here；”　she　said；　her　voice　dreamlike。

“I　know。　I　e　down　here　a　lot　now　just　to　be　close　to　the　water。　It　makes　me　feel　good。　e　on；　let’s　go。　The　mosquitoes　are　getting　vicious；　and　I’m　starved。”

THE　SKY　had　turned　black　and　they　started　towards　the　house。　In　the　silence　Allie’s　mind　wandered　and　she　felt　a　little　light…headed。　She　wondered　what　he　was　thinking　about　her　being　here　and　wasn’t　exactly　sure　if　she　knew　herself。　When　they　reached　the　house　a　couple　of　minutes　later；　Clem　greeted　them　on　the　back　porch。

Noah　set　the　bucket　by　the　door；　then　led　the　way　inside　to　the　kitchen。　It　was　on　the　right；　large　and　smelling　of　new　wood。　The　cabis　had　been　done　in　oak；　like　the　floor；　and　the　windows　were　large　and　faced　east；　allowing　the　light　from　the　morning　sun。　It　was　a　tasteful　restoration；　not　overdone　as　was　so　often　the　case　when　Homes　like　this　were　rebuilt。

“Do　you　mind　if　I　look　around？”

“No；　go　ahead。　I　did　some　shopping　earlier　and　I　still　have　to　put　the　groceries　away。”

She　toured　the　house　for　the　next　few　minutes；　walking　through　the　rooms；　noticing　how　wonderful　it　looked。　She　came　down　the　stairs；　turned　towards　the　kitchen；　and　saw　his　profile。　For　a　second　he　looked　like　a　young　man　of　seventeen　again；　and　it　made　her　pause　a　split　second　before　going　on。　Damn；　she　thought；　get　a　hold　of　yourself。　Remember　that　you’re　engaged　now。

He　was　standing　by　the　counter；　a　couple　of　cabi　doors　open　wide；　empty　grocery　bags　on　the　floor；　whistling　quietly。

“It’s　unbelievable；　Noah。　How　long　did　the　restoration　take？”

He　looked　up　from　the　last　bag　he　was　unpacking。　“Almost　a　year。〃

“Did　you　do　it　all　yourself？”

He　laughed。　“No。　I　always　thought　I　would　when　I　was　young；　and　I　started　that　way。　But　it　was　just　too　much。　It　would　have　taken　years；　and　so　I　ended　up　hiring　some　people。　。　。　actually　a　lot　of　people。　But　even　with　them　it　was　still　a　lot　of　work；　and　most　of　the　time　I　didn’t　stop　until　past　midnight。”

“Why’d　you　work　so　hard？”

Ghosts；　he　wanted　to　say；　but　didn’t。

“I　don’t　know。　Just　wanted　to　finish；　I　guess。　Do　you　want　anything　to　drink　before　I　start　dinner？”

“What　do　you　have？”

“Not　much；　really。　Beer；　tea；　Coffee。”

“Tea　sounds　good。”

He　gathered　the　grocery　bags　and　put　them　away；　then　walked　to　a　small　room　off　the　kitchen　before　returning　with　a　box　of　tea。　He　pulled　out　a　couple　of　tea　bags　and　put　them　by　the　stove；　then　filled　the　kettle。　After　standing　it　on　the　burner；　he　lit　a　match　and　she　heard　the　sound　of　flames　as　they　came　to　life。

“It’ll　be　just　a　minute；”　he　said；　“this　stove　heats　up　pretty　quick。”

“That’s　fine。”

When　the　kettle　whistled；　he　poured　two　cups　and　handed　one　to　her。　She　smiled　and　took　a　sip。

“I’m　going　to　get　the　crabs　in　to　marinate　for　a　few　minutes　before　I　steam　‘em；”　he　said；　putting　his　cup　on　the　counter。　He　went　to　the　cupboard　and　removed　a　large　pot　with　a　steamer　and　lid。　He　brought　the　pot　to　the　sink；　added　water；　then　carried　it　to　the　stove。

“Can　I　give　you　a　hand　with　something？”

He　answered　over　his　shoulder：　“Sure。　How　about　cutting　up　some　vegetables　to　fry。　There’s　plenty　in　the　icebox；　and　you　can　find　a　bowl　over　there。”

He　motioned　to　the　cabi　near　the　sink；　and　she　took　another　sip　of　tea　before　setting　her　cup　on　the　counter　and　retrieving　the　bowl。　She　carried　it　to　the　icebox　and　found　some　okra；　courgettes；　onions　and　carrots　on　the　bottom　shelf。　Noah　joined　her　in　front　of　the　open　door；　and　she　moved　to　make　room　for　him。　She　could　smell　him　as　he　stood　next　to　her—clean；　familiar；　distinctive—and　felt　his　arm　brush　against　her　as　he　leaned　over　and　reached　inside。　He　removed　a　beer　and　a　bottle　of　hot　sauce；　then　returned　to　the　stove。

Noah　opened　the　beer　and　poured　it　in　the　water；　then　added　the　hot　sauce　and　some　other　seasoning。　After　stirring　the　water　to　make　sure　the　powders　dissolved；　he　went　to　the　back　door　to　get　the　crabs。

He　paused　for　a　moment　before　going　back　inside　and　stared　at　Allie；　watching　her　cut　the　carrots。　As　he　did　that；　he　wondered　again　why　she　had　e；　especially　now　that　she　was　engaged。　None　of　this　made　much　sense　to　him。　But　then　Allie　had　always　been　surprising。

He　smiled；　remembering　the　way　she　had　been。　Fiery；　spontaneous；　passionate—as　he　imagined　most　artists　to　be。　And　she　was　definitely　that。　Artistic　talent　like　hers　was　a　gift。　He　remembered　seeing　some　paintings　in　the　museums　in　New　York　and　thinking　that　her　work　was　just　as　good。

She　had　given　him　a　painting　before　she’d　left　that　summer。　It　hung　above　the　fireplace　in　the　living　room。　She’d　called　it　a　picture　of　her　dreams；　and　to　him　it　had　seemed　extremely　sensual。　When　he　looked　at　it；　and　he　often　did　late　in　the　evening；　he　could　see　desire　in　the　colours　and　the　lines；　and　if　he　focused　carefully　he　could　imagine　what　she　had　been　thinking　with　every　stroke。

A　dog　barked　in　the　distance；　and　Noah　realized　he　had　been　standing　with　the　door　open　a　long　time。　He　closed　it　quickly　and　went　into　the　kitchen。

“How’s　it　going？”　he　asked；　seeing　she　was　nearly　finished。

“Good。　I’m　almost　done　here。　Anything　else　for　dinner？”

“I　have　some　Homemade　bread　that　I　was　planning　on。　From　a　neighbour；”　he　added　as　he　put　the　pail　in　the　sink。　He　began　to　rinse　the　crabs；　holding　them　under　the　tap；　then　letting　them　scurry　around　the　sink　while　he　rinsed　the　next　one。　Allie　picked　up　her　cup　and　came　over　to　watch　him。

“Aren’t　you　afraid　they’ll　pinch　you？”

“No。　Just　grab　‘em　like　this；”　he　said；　demonstrating。

She　smiled。　“I　forget　you’ve　done　this　your　whole　life。”

She　leaned　against　the　counter；　standing　close　to　him；　and　emptied　her　cup。　When　the　crabs　were　ready　he　put　them　in　the　pot　on　the　stove。　He　washed　his　hands；　turning　to　speak　to　her　as　he　did　so。

“You　want　to　sit　on　the　porch　for　a　few　minutes？　I’d　like　to　let　them　marinate　for　a　half…hour。”

“Sure；”　she　said。

He　wiped　his　hands；　and　together　they　went　to　the　back　porch。　Noah　flicked　on　the　light　as　they　went　outside；　and　he　sat　in　the　older　rocker；　offering　the　newer　one　to　her。　When　he　saw　her　cup　was　empty；　he　went　inside　for　a　moment　and　emerged　with　a　refill　and　a　beer　for　himself。　He　held　out　the　cup　and　she　took　it；　sipping　again　before　she　put　it　on　the　table　beside　the　chairs。

“You　were　sitting　out　here　when　I　came；　weren’t　you？”

“Yeah。　I　sit　out　here　every　night。　It’s　a　habit　now。”

“I　can　see　why；”　she　said　as　she　looked　around。　“So；　what　is　it　you　do　these　days？”

“Actually；　I　don’t　do　anything　but　work　on　the　house　right　now。

It　satisfies　my　creative　urges。”

“How　can　you。。。　I　mean。。。〃

“Morris　Goldman。　My　old　boss　from　up　north。　He　offered　me　a　part　of　the　Business　just　as　I　enlisted；　and　died　before　I　got　Home。　When　I　got　back　to　the　states；　his　lawyers　gave　me　a　cheque　big　enough　to　buy　this　place　and　fix　it　up。”

She　laughed　under　her　breath。　“You　always　told　me　you’d　find　a　way　to　do　it。”

They　both　sat　quietly　for　a　moment；　thinking　back　again。　Allie　took　another　sip　of　tea。

“Do　you　remember　sneaking　over　here　the　night　you　first　told　me　about　this　place？”

He　nodded；　and　she　went　on：　“I　got　Home　a　little　late　that　evening；　and　my　parents　were　furious　when　I　finally　came　in。　I　can　still　picture　my　daddy　standing　in　the　living　room　smoking　a　cigarette；　my　mother　on　the　sofa　staring　straight　ahead。　I　swear；　they　looked　as　if　a　family　member　had　died。　That　was　the　first　time　my　parents　knew　I　was　serious　about　you；　and　my　mother　had　a　long　talk　with　me　later　that　night。　She　said　to　me；　‘I’m　sure　you　think　that　I　don’t　understand　what　you’re　going　through；　but　I　do。　It’s　just　that　sometimes　our　future　is　dictated　by　what　we　are；　as　opposed　to　what　we　want。’　I　remember　being　really　hurt　when　she　said　that。”

“You　told　me　about　it　the　next　day。　It　hurt　my　feelings；　too。　I　liked　your　parents　and　I　had　no　idea　they　didn’t　like　me。”

“It　wasn’t　that　they　didn’t　like　you。　They　didn’t　think　you　deserved　me。”

“There’s　not　much　difference。”

“I　know　that　I　always　did。　Maybe　that’s　why　my　mother　and　I　always　seem　to　have　a　distance　between　us　when　we　talk。”

“How　do　you　feel　about　it　now？”

“The　same　as　I　did　back　then。　That　it’s　wrong；　that　it　isn’t　fair。　It　was　a　terrible　thing　for　a　girl　to　learn；　that　status　is　more　important　than　feelings。”

Noah　said　nothing。

“I’ve　thought　about　you　ever　since　that　summer；”　she　said。

“You　have？”

“Why　wouldn’t　you　think　so？”　She　seemed　genuinely　surprised。

“You　never　answered　my　letters。”

“You　wrote？”

“Dozens　of　letters。　I　wrote　to　you　for　two　years　without　receiving　a　single　reply。”

She　slowly　shook　her　head　before　lowering　her　eyes。　“I　didn’t　know。。　。”　she　said　finally；　quietly；　and　he　knew　it　must　have　been　her　mother　checking　the　mail；　removing　the　letters　without　her　knowledge。　It　was　what　he　had　always　suspected；　and　he　watched　as　Allie　came　to　the　same　realization。

“It　was　wrong　of　her　to　do　that；　Noah；　and　I’m　sorry　she　did。　But　try　to　understand。　Once　I　left；　she　probably　thought　it　would　be　easier　for　me　to　just　let　it　go。　She　never　understood　how　much　you　meant　to　me；　and；　to　be　honest。　I　don’t　even　know　if　she　ever　loved　my　father　the　way　I　loved　you。　In　her　mind；　she　was　just　trying　to　protect　my　feelings；　and　she　probably　thought　the　best　way　to　do　that　was　to　hide　the　letters　you　sent。”

“That　wasn’t　her　decision　to　make；”　he　said　quietly。

“I　know。”

“Would　it　have　made　a　difference　even　if　you’d　got　them？”

“Of　course。　I　always　wondered　what　you　were　up　to。”

“No；　I　mean　with　us。　Do　you　think　we　would　have　made　it’？”

It　took　a　moment　for　her　to　answer。　“I　don’t　know；　Noah。　I　really　don’t；　and　you　don’t　either。　We’re　not　the　same　people　we　were　then。　We’ve　changed。　Both　of　us。”

She　paused。　He　didn’t　respond；　and　in　the　silence　she　looked　towards　the　creek